Is Your Glass Half Empty or Half Full?

As I sit here drinking this cranberry juice wondering what I should write about, the first thought that comes to mind is : My life> At this point in my life I feel complete, but yet half full. I know that does not make sense to most people, but to me it makes perfect sense. I am the type of person that's never satisfied, I always want more of something, especially when it pertains to my career objectives. I feel complete because I accomplished some of my childhood goals, but incomplete because everyday I'm adding a new goal to the list. I hear people say," I just want to be successful” I often wonder how other’s defining success. Success to me is accomplishing all of my goals, and since I have so many I will always be chasing success. Success is not a destination nor can it be measured by monetary gain. Public figures like Russell Simmons, Oprah, Pdiddy, Bill Gates, and Donald Trump are wealthy, but the wealth they acquired isn’t what makes them successful at least not from my point of view. The mere fact that they don’t limit themselves and continue to strive for more is what makes them smarter then those who think they have "arrived" and are content with being complacent.

People who understand that success is not a destination is constantly setting new goals. Once they accomplish one goal their on to the next. If you get to that point in your life and you start to think " NOW WHAT?" Quickly sit down and think about your next move. “NOW WHAT?" means that you don't have enough goals or have run out of things to do? Believe it or not everyone at some point will reach that NOW WHAT? Moment, hopefully it’s when you've accomplished all of your goals and dreams. Some people don’t have a lot of goals, and that fine, do whatever makes you happy, just don't settle for less then you deserve. We only get one life; everyone deserves to have all there dreams come true.

Motivation Quotes:
"Your DreamS Will not come true Until you WAKE up and Make them happen"
“You are your own distraction; the only person that can get in your way is YOU"
“Drop that T off CAN'T and say YES I CAN...lol"

God Bless, Keep the Faith, Love Miss Kinsey

How do you know when you’ve outgrown your friends?

*this note is not a personal attack on any of my friends, please don't take it personal. I am simply expressing my opinion on a topic that many people can relate too*

How do you know when you’ve outgrown your friends?

This is a question that I have asked myself several times over the last few years. As I sit and meditate on where I am in my life I can’t help, but to be honest with myself and acknowledge that my relationship with some of my friends have changed. It saddens me to think that we have grown apart. Some days I sit back and reminisce about the friendships I had growing up. When I was younger I hung out with a group of girls practically everyday. These girls were like my sisters, and in my heart they still are. Back then we did everything together. We went to the same schools; we shopped together, partied, slept over at each others houses; shared secrets, got into fights, talked about our life goals, etc. There was no doubt in my mind that these girls would forever be my friends.

It seems like everything changed once we graduated from high school. Some of us went to different colleges/universities, and some stayed in the town. My first couple of years in college I kept in touch with most of them. I would go home on the weekends and hangout with them. After awhile seems like phone calls and hanging out died out. I started to feel like there was no reason for me to travel home anymore. I got tired of going to same parties, listening to same hood stories, and seeing the same people in the town. Besides, every time I came home I would constantly hear negative criticism from some friends and family members. People would say to me “girl you act different since you went to college… you act like a white girl.” Or they would say, “you think you better because you in college.” Honestly, I was tired of hearing those sarcastic remarks. Of course these remarks came from people who never went to college. It’s funny to me how ignorant people can be sometimes. Do they really think, I worked this hard to stay the same (jay-z voice)? I am suppose to sound different, look different and behave different.

A few months ago I realized I have outgrown some of my friends. Most of my friends aren’t interested in the same things that I am interested in. If I called some of them right now and asked them to attend a professional seminar with me, most of them would not be interested. Likewise, if they called me and asked me to go to a bar, I would not be interested. Our conversations differ also, some of my friends still like to gossip and talk about the latest drama in the neighborhood. I find myself getting really annoyed with these conversations and I often try to change the subject. I know that this is a sign that I have outgrown the friendship. For awhile I was in denial and I did not want to lose any of my friends, but now I realize that some people do not want to change and are content with where they are. So I choose to love them from a distance.

I read this quote the other day that said, “You don’t have to change friends, if you realize that friends change.” At first I agreed with that quote until I read another quote that said “you are the average of your five closest friends.” If the last quote is true, I want my five closest friends to be educated, respectful, business oriented go-getters who do not have time for negativity and drama.

~God Bless, Keep the FAITH ,love Miss Kinsey~

MEET ME AT THE CROSS ROAD

I am stuck sitting here in this unfamiliar place
Wondering how did I get stuck here in this unfamiliar place?
A place full of lust, confusion, excitement and a feeling that is hard to let go
How did I get here in this unfamiliar place?
Stuck not knowing what to do
Can you meet me at the cross road so we can figure out which way to go?
I want to go left, but my heart tells me to go right, but I know that’s not right
So I am stuck sitting here in this unfamiliar place
Lonely, confused, hurt & feeling misused
I AM STUCK!
Can you meet me at the cross road so I can figure out which way to go?

Sometimes in life we often feel stuck and confused when it comes to personal matters such as RELATIONSHIPS. Most of us just want someone to meet us half way and compromise. Unfortunately, it does not always work out like that. Life is unpredictable, its a temporary assignment and nothing last forever so all you can do is TRUST the PROCESS and LIVE….everything that’s meant to happen will happen. DON’T STAY STUCK, pick your head up and LIVE. “LIFE IS TO BE LIVED”

This poem is dedicated to the people who feel stuck and unsure of their next move in their relationship, career, etc… I hope my words inspire you to LIVE and enjoy your LIFE!!

God bless, Keep the FAITH, love Miss Kinsey!

KEEP THE FAITH

There is no such thing as a faithless person, it just depends on what you choose to have faith in. every day people exercise some level of faith. When you go out to eat at a restaurant you trust and have faith in the chef. You cannot see what he is doing behind the kitchen doors, but you have faith that he is preparing a great meal. When you are sick and you go to the doctor you trust that the doctor will prescribe you the right medicine. When you are in trouble with the law, you choose to hire an attorney that has a good track record of winning cases. You trust and have faith that attorney will prove your innocence. Many of us put more faith in humans then we do GOD…

God is the alpha and omega (the beginning and end). He is the creator of all things. He is the author and finisher of our faith…. Why not trust him? Once you begin to trust God and put your faith in him nothing else matters. If the doctor says you are sick and there is no cure for your illness…that does not bother you because you know God is a healer… and if you don’t know you should read your bible the scripture tells us so (read James 5:13-15) If you lost your job and don’t know where your next meal is going to come from…Trust God he is a provider and will supply all of your needs (Philippians 4:19)…. If you are feeling depressed and lonely…God says he will always be with you even when you cannot feel his presence. TRUST GOD….

Do not be fooled by people who say you do not have enough faith or people who try to act like they so holy like they have some greater level of faith then you. In the bible it says all we need is a mustard seed of faith to move mountains (Mathew 17:20)…. Use the little bit of faith you have and trust God….Ask God to come into your life and show you how to live… Do not let other people deter you from seeking a relationship with God…. STOP blaming the church, stop saying “I don’t go to church because the people are hypocrites” there are hypocrites where ever you go, besides you don’t go to church for the people…you go to hear God’s word and worship him. If you are focusing on the people then you are going for the wrong reasons. Also stop saying “I believe in God, but I don’t believe in the bible because it was written by man” that breaks my heart when I hear people say that. How can you believe in God, but not his words…what are you basing your beliefs on? Besides the books that you read for school and for leisure are written by man, but that don’t stop you from reading them or believing what you read…. I’m not judging anyone, I’m just saying… if you believe in God than believe in his words, trust and have faith in his word and apply what you learn to your life.

“There is no such thing as a perfect person, but God can fix your imperfections, and if you have faith in him he will make you a better person.”

~God Bless, Keep the FAITH, love Ms. Kinsey~

DO GOOD GUYS FINISH LAST?

Do good guys finish last? The answer to this question is contingent on how one defines a good guy. My definition of good guy is a man who is extremely nice for no apparent reason except for the fact that he was raised to respect women. A good guy will exercise his manners at all times. He is considerate, honest, loyal, and respectful. He will open up the doors for you, cook/clean for you, and talk to you in respectable manner without the use of profanity or other ignorant words. A good guy is charming and presentable. You can take him out in public and he will not embarrass you (LOL).

Most women want a good guy, but they want one that has a BACKBONE. In other words, he is not a pushover. There is a difference between a good guy and pushover. A pushover is a man that allows his woman to completely control the relationship. She tells him what he can and cannot do. His life revolves around her. She has to stand up for him when he is disrespected by others because he is too nice to stand up for himself. Once a man crosses the line of being a good guy to a push over his woman will leave him for a man that she feels will protect her.

Women tend to fall for the so called “bad guys” for several reasons. One reason happens to be because they believe the bad guys will protect them if anything should ever happen. For example; if a woman is in situation and she is scared or being violated by someone, she wants her man to stand up for her and take care of the situation if necessary. If you are a pushover your woman will feel as if she wears the pants and she has to protect you. Another reason why women fall for bad guys is because good guys are so predictable. Believe it or not women like a thrill or some type of excitement. If a woman knows what your next move is at all times she will begin to think that you are a boring person. Nobody wants to be with a boring person. The bad guys are always unpredictable you never know what they will do….it’s sad, but it’s the truth. Now don’t mistake what I am trying to say here…. I am not saying a woman wants an abusive man that will smack her around, cheat on her or some type thug that’s in/out jail. A real woman does not want that. She wants a man that is respectful, romantic, and knows how to keep the relationship exciting and new. Moreover, he can and will protect and provide for her.

The answer to the question above is NO! Good Guys do not finish last, PUSHOVERS finish last. If you are a good guy, I encourage you to continue to be a good guy and respect women. However, do not allow women to control your every move or take advantage of your kindness…Be a good guy and have a BACKBONE and you will find an incredible woman who will appreciate and love you.

~God bless, Keep the faith, love Ms. Kinsey~

DONT LET YOUR INDEPENDENCE STOP YOU FROM GETTING A MAN

This is the hardest blog I have written thus far because I am practically writing about myself. I am keeping it a 100 percent real and I hope you can appreciate my point of view on independent women. Now before you read my point of view, I want to clarify two things: I do believe women should have their own and I am in support of independent women, however women do not let your independence hinder you from getting a real man. Sometimes women we have to learn to be submissive.

The term INDEPENDENT is used so loosely. Nowadays, a lot of women are shouting “I am independent and I don’t need a man.” I once shouted that too, until I sat down and had a conversation with a real man who had a valuable point of view on this issue. He said to me, “Why is it that the majority of women who say that they are independent are single? and why are independent women still looking for a man?” Initially, I laughed at these questions, but truthfully I could not disagree with him because he was right. If I say I am independent and I don’t need a man, it does not make sense to later state that I have not found the right man. The two statements are a contradiction. If you don’t need a man than what’s the point in looking for the right one??? LOL…

You see I understand women and if there is anything I’ve learned about being a woman is this: Women say one thing and mean another. I do not know why we do it, but that’s what we do. I guess we assume that men know what we want. So let me explain what a woman is really trying to say when she says, “I am independent and I do not need a man.” She is saying, “I am proud of myself because I have a job, a car, my own place and I can provide for myself financially, so if a man wants to be with me, he has to be able to give me more than what I already have.” (Now that’s deep! LOL) You see it’s not that we do not need a man, oh yes, we need them, but we or should I say I want one that will STAND UP AND BE A MAN….in other words take care of the household. More women nowadays are the sole providers for their household. Now I am not saying it’s all about money, there is other ways you can support your woman. You can please her emotionally, spiritually and physically. The problem is most men are emotionally disconnected, lost spiritually and physically they just are not “doing it right” for a lack of a better word (you can interpret that last statement however you want too).

Okay so what’s the solution? Women stop saying you do not need a man, speak positivity into your situation and say, “I want a man who has more than what I have.” Also, don’t go around shouting you’re independent because you attract dependent men. All the real men run away from you because they are afraid they will not be able to offer you anything. Lastly, when you get a real man remember it’s not about what you can do for him or what he can do for you, ITS ABOUT WHAT YA’LL CAN DO FOR EACH OTHER!

~Keep the FAITH, luv Ms. Kinsey~

BACK TO BASIC (CHECK YOUR SWAGGER)

Hello Fellas! This blog is for you (particularly for single men). I will keep this simple and straight to the point because I know men have short attention spans (lol hahaha! I really love you guys). The first thing that came to mind when I started writing this blog is how can I help the guys? I am always encouraging and uplifting women. I said to myself, “what is one thing that men struggle with the most when dealing with women?” the first thought that popped into my head was “approaching women.” Now most of you men are probably thinking, “nah sheek, I don’t have that problem; I’m a G, I got game, I know how to get a lady” Bull Crap! At some point all of you men were afraid to approach a woman because fear of rejection. Please let me help you and give you a better understanding from a woman’s perspective so that you can reduce your chances of being rejected. Let’s be clear, I am not speaking for all women, but I am sure that most women will agree with what I am about to say. Below are 5 easy steps that all men should follow before approaching a woman that you’re interested in. Be sure to read brief explanation after each step.

1. First thing you need to do is check yourself before approaching her. Take a quick look at yourself and ask yourself: DO I like the way I look today? How do I smell? (Is my breath fresh, hygiene right, etc)

Explanation: If you don’t like the way you look, chances are she don’t either. Men should always wear cologne because smelling good draws a woman closer to you…even if you’re not looking your best, if you smell good she will have something positive to say( she will say, “at least he smell good”…lol)

2. Think about what you are going to say before approaching her and eliminate these words from your vocabulary: what’s good ma? Can I holla at you for a minute? You fine can I get your number? All that immature language is annoying…

Explanation: The first thing you say out of your mouth will determine if she rejects you.
I would suggest you say something like this: Excuse me, what’s your name? I see you around here a lot and I was curious about you…okay this is situational, but I’m sure she would want to know what your curiosity is about which will lead to follow up question…at least you got her attention now

3. Be confident: A confident man can have any girl that he wants. Women think confident men are so sexy (at least that’s what I think LOL). A confident man is comfortable in his own skin. He has a certain type of walk, talk, a sexy vibe just swag….You either have it or you don’t. The best way to exude confidence is to be you!

4. Make eye contact: if you make eye contact with a woman for longer than 15 seconds and she is gazing back into your eyes, please believe that she likes you, interested or feeling a certain type away about you

5. Keep it simple: When you approach a woman for first time keep the conversation short. If she shows interest in you and you want to talk to her again, I would suggest you ask: how can I keep in touch with you? Instead of asking can I have your phone number; Not all women want to give out their number

I know this list is simple and basic, but most men have difficult time following these basic steps when approaching women. I hope this list encourages men to come correct when approaching the ladies. If you have any questions or would like me to elaborate please leave a comment below

~God Bless, Keep the FAITH, luv Ms. Kinsey~

SEASONAL MEN

There seems to be a trend going on in relationships. There are a lot of seasonal relationships. One minute you see a couple together in the winter by spring their relationship has ended. I believe I have a solution to fixing this problem, so pay close attention to what I am about to tell you. When you meet a guy or a woman you like do not be in a hurry to commit to a title. What’s the rush? Most women are quick to ask a man for the title of being his girlfriend after only dating the guy for a short time. Why is that? I believe it’s because women fear that without a title they will not be able to keep the man from dating other women or they feel a sense of security by having a title. They think if I am his “girlfriend” then I’m entitled to certain rights and privileges.

I am here to tell you a title does not give you anything, but a false sense of hope. You hope that a man will not cheat; you hope that he will fall in love with you; you hope that he will marry you. Listen up women, just because a man calls you his girlfriend does not guarantee that he will do all those things that you hope for. If a title meant anything why are most men still cheating? Why is the divorce rate so high? Why does a man tell you he loves you and creeps around with the next chick when you’re not available? I am not here to tell you how men think; I am not a man. You can buy Steve Harvey book “Act like a lady, think like a Man” if you want to know how men think. I am writing this to tell you to get rid of your emotional thinking and USE YOUR BRAIN. Use the power that all women have. It is time to pull out your womanly tools that God blessed you with before jumping into your next relationship. All women have these tools, but not all women are smart enough to use them before getting into a relationship. These are the tools that women have: 1. women instinct, 2. Ability to investigate/interrogate 3. Ability to be charming and pleasing without giving up the cookie 4. Ability to get what you want when you want it 5. Ability to multitask. We have an advantage over men because men do not possess the same power.

Attention Women!!! Use these tools before deciding to be in a relationship. The key word in the latter statement is BEFORE. I would suggest that you observe and be friends with someone for a whole year before getting into a relationship. I know what most of you are thinking; a year is too long. Well that’s why you keep getting seasonal men; you do not want to wait for the right man. While you are waiting use your tools. Tool # 1 investigate/interrogate…Ask questions, not just any question, the uncomfortable ones (what are your goals? Do you have a job? Do you have a relationship with God? Do you have any kids? Do you like kids…lol etc). Tool # 2 is being charming without giving up the cookie…. The best way to be charming without having sex is to give a man a compliment. Men have huge ego’s they love to be praised, you don’t have to sleep with him to make him feel good. Men will love to be around you if you treat him like he is the best thing since slice bread LOL. Tell him things like “baby you look’n real handsome, I love that hair cut, you are such a great man to wait for me until I am ready”….LOL (this works…it will get you through your investigation period). Tool #3 is ability to get what you want when you want it…The key to getting what you want is to know what you want. Let a man know what your expectations are and what you want out of a relationship. Let him know that you are focus on your future. Men love a woman who is focus and have standards. Tool #4 is ability to multi-task…. While you are trying to figure out if this man is the one for you, make sure most of your time is consumed with taking care of you and your business…do not spend to much time worrying about if the man is right for you, spend time getting your self right. Lastly, Trust your instinct. A woman’s instinct is always right.

The moral of the story is getting to know a man through all four seasons before jumping into a relationship. It takes time to know someone and figure out there intentions. You want to observe a man through all four seasons (winter, spring, summer and fall). You want to see how he treats you in the winter when it’s cold outside and fewer women are dressing scandalous. Will he stick with you in the winter or just use you as a cuddling buddy and bounce on you in the spring? Or will he spring forward with you and be around all summer? Or will he start to act up in the summer and Fall back until its winter again…LOL stop putting up with this mess and take control of the situation. Be his friend and use your tools until you get to know him better.

~God Bless, Keep the FAITH, love Ms. Kinsey~