It’s been awhile since I wrote a blog about love and relationships so since this is long overdue, I hope you enjoy reading it or at least be entertained. Before I begin let me add a Disclaimer: I Yaschia Kinsey is NOT a Love expert, I write strictly for entertainment purposes. Everything that is written is based off of witnessing other people’s experiences or my own personal experiences. I do not sugar coat anything and sometimes my sarcasm can be offensive, so now that you’ve been warned we can begin.
How long should you wait before you get married? How do you know when you are ready for marriage?
About a month ago, I posted this question on my Facebook status and I received a couple of responses that were thought provoking, but nevertheless, I decided to write about it.
Is 6 months too soon? Is 5 years too long? ….I know people who have been together for 6 months and got married. I also know people that have been in a relationship for 10 years and still together, but are not married. So I cannot help, but to wonder why some people are quick to rush into marriage and why some are taking forever to tie the knot. Now I know every circumstance is different and it depends on the individuals ….yea yea yea all that is true, but there has to be a more profound explanation to the questions above.
Nowadays, seems like more people are getting married sooner than later. Seems like marriage is becoming a hobby; I have friends in their 20’s that are already married. I am happy for them, but sometimes I wonder what would make them do such a thing at a young age. Most of them have kids, they tell me, "They love their girl and they want to keep the family together… and feel it’s the right thing to do." I’m not knocking or doubting their love for each other, but I definitely do not think people should get married because they have kids together and society tells them it’s the right thing to do. Now that I think about it, there are very few people nowadays who get married before they have kids… so is kids the motivating factor for marriage? Or are women just saying “yes I will marry you” because the guy ask them too? What’s the big obsession with marriage?
It seems like women wait their whole lives for the right guy to pop the big question. I know some women all they think and talk about is marriage. They do not even know why they want to get married. They use LOVE as a justification, but to me you can love a person and never marry them, a piece of paper does not define love. Moreover, is love really enough to keep a marriage together? I would have to say, NO. I know plenty of people who love their partner and divorce them because of financial reasons. In fact, research shows that the number one reason people get divorced is because of money problems (so in the words of Tina Turner “What’s Love got to do with it” LOL). Another justification for marriage that is overly used is “I no longer want to live in sin.” Okay, I can understand that, but if you are marrying the person just because you do not want people to think that you are a heathen or because you want to be politically correct by doing so, then you are being deceptive and deception is also a sin. Is one sin greater than the other? I do not think so. Lastly, I often hear women say, “I am getting too old my biological clock is ticking, I need to hurry up and find me a husband.” Regardless of what your biological clock is saying, if you marry someone for that reason alone, a few years later you will be one old miserable divorced lady….LOL
Regardless of what you should never be in a rush to get married. Marriage is a HUGE commitment and you should not sign up for it if you are not certain why you want it. If you have been with your partner for more than 5 years and you are not married yet, there is probably good reason for that. Maybe the person is not sure yet. If you are ready and he is not maybe you should move on because there is no guarantee that person will ever be ready. If you been with your partner for 6 months and you are married; I hope you know why you got married and I hope those reasons are good enough to get you through the hard times because there will be hard times.
The one way you can figure out why you want to get married is to do some deep thinking and soul searching. Ask yourself and partner a lot of questions. Below are a few questions you should ask yourself and partner…
YOURSELF
Why am I getting married? What is it that I like the least about this person and can I live with that for the rest of my life? Can and do I trust this person? What is my partner view on family and how does he/she treat his family? How do I deal with conflict and how does he deal with conflict? When we argue what’s the first thought that comes to mind? Do I think about or still love someone else?
PARTNER
What are your expectations about marriage? Why do you want to marry me? How much debt are you in and what’s our financial plan? How many kids do you want to have or are you marrying me because of the kids? Is there anything /secrets you want to tell me before we get married?
These are just a few questions, if you are not satisfied with your partner answers maybe you should consider waiting. Remember marriage is easy to get into, but harder to get out of….. I’ve seen some messy divorces and I don’t want that to be you so think about it and ask about it before you decide to do it!
God Bless, Keep the FAITH, Luv Miss Kinsey
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
