How do you know when you’ve outgrown your friends?

*this note is not a personal attack on any of my friends, please don't take it personal. I am simply expressing my opinion on a topic that many people can relate too*

How do you know when you’ve outgrown your friends?

This is a question that I have asked myself several times over the last few years. As I sit and meditate on where I am in my life I can’t help, but to be honest with myself and acknowledge that my relationship with some of my friends have changed. It saddens me to think that we have grown apart. Some days I sit back and reminisce about the friendships I had growing up. When I was younger I hung out with a group of girls practically everyday. These girls were like my sisters, and in my heart they still are. Back then we did everything together. We went to the same schools; we shopped together, partied, slept over at each others houses; shared secrets, got into fights, talked about our life goals, etc. There was no doubt in my mind that these girls would forever be my friends.

It seems like everything changed once we graduated from high school. Some of us went to different colleges/universities, and some stayed in the town. My first couple of years in college I kept in touch with most of them. I would go home on the weekends and hangout with them. After awhile seems like phone calls and hanging out died out. I started to feel like there was no reason for me to travel home anymore. I got tired of going to same parties, listening to same hood stories, and seeing the same people in the town. Besides, every time I came home I would constantly hear negative criticism from some friends and family members. People would say to me “girl you act different since you went to college… you act like a white girl.” Or they would say, “you think you better because you in college.” Honestly, I was tired of hearing those sarcastic remarks. Of course these remarks came from people who never went to college. It’s funny to me how ignorant people can be sometimes. Do they really think, I worked this hard to stay the same (jay-z voice)? I am suppose to sound different, look different and behave different.

A few months ago I realized I have outgrown some of my friends. Most of my friends aren’t interested in the same things that I am interested in. If I called some of them right now and asked them to attend a professional seminar with me, most of them would not be interested. Likewise, if they called me and asked me to go to a bar, I would not be interested. Our conversations differ also, some of my friends still like to gossip and talk about the latest drama in the neighborhood. I find myself getting really annoyed with these conversations and I often try to change the subject. I know that this is a sign that I have outgrown the friendship. For awhile I was in denial and I did not want to lose any of my friends, but now I realize that some people do not want to change and are content with where they are. So I choose to love them from a distance.

I read this quote the other day that said, “You don’t have to change friends, if you realize that friends change.” At first I agreed with that quote until I read another quote that said “you are the average of your five closest friends.” If the last quote is true, I want my five closest friends to be educated, respectful, business oriented go-getters who do not have time for negativity and drama.

~God Bless, Keep the FAITH ,love Miss Kinsey~