How do you regain TRUST back after painful BREAKUP?

So you just broke up with your girlfriend or boyfriend… what was the reason for the breakup? You lied, cheated, loss interest, the sex was bad or you just couldn’t stand being with the person anymore. May be the breakup did not end on bad terms, perhaps both of you agreed to be friends and date other people. Whatever the case may be, I’m sure the breakup wasn’t easy for either of you. So where do you go from here….
If your plan is to get the person back because after few months of being a part you realized you messed up, you have a lot of work to do. If your plan is to move on to something better because going back would be a nightmare, you still have a lot of work to do.

Let’s explore the first plan of getting the person back. The number one thing that is on that person’s mind and your mind is TRUST? Will he/she be able to trust me again or what will it take to regain the trust back? Trust is definitely a necessity in a relationship. Trust can be defined as “confidence or faith in a person or thing to carry out their commitment.” Trust is often earned and not given. Trust is a verb, not a noun; therefore it is shown through action. If you are to regain a person’s trust back, the one obvious thing you can do is keep your commitment and follow through with your word. If you say you are going to do something, make sure you do it. Being honest and open about your feelings is another way to make sure your needs is getting met and also helps foster a trusting relationship.

If you have violated the person’s trust, you cannot expect the person to trust you right away. It takes time to build trust and sometimes you never fully gain trust back. People often will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel. Depending on the type of person you are dealing with, once trust is broken that person will become guarded and detached emotionally. You have to understand the person you are dealing with, then ask yourself, is he or she worth fighting for? And if this person never trusts me again will I be able to have a healthy relationship with them?

Patience, prayer, persistence can take you a long way in a relationship. It also important to keep in mind that going back isn’t always the answer, just like finding something new does not always mean it’s going to be better. It’s more important for you to evaluate yourself and identify the things that you need to work on so that you can be a better man/woman and attract a better mate in the future. If you do not have a healthy mind set you will find yourself in unhealthy relationships over and over again. Before you jump into your next relationship or go back to a previous relationship take time to be alone and discover who you are.

God Bless, Keep the FAITH, luv Ms.Kinsey

Tips on Controlling your EMOTIONS…while Dating or in a Relationship

Hello people, thanks for reading this blog. I hope it help someone. I am going to be quick and straight to the point with this one. I often hear people say, “ Women are too emotional “ and I believe that is a true statement, however, I also believe that men are just as emotional as women they just do good job at controlling it. Women we show our EMOTIONS way too much. When we are upset we have to talk about it, when we are happy we have to talk about it, when we are sad we have to cry and talk about it, when we are lonely WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT! You get the point, we talk too much about how we feel and that is sometimes annoying and uncomfortable for men to deal with. Ever notice that a man rarely talks about what he is going through, that’s because he understands that it’s not necessary to talk about everything. Sometimes it’s good to just SHUT UP and keep your thoughts to yourself. I am not saying that it is always good to remain silent, but just know WOMEN…YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT… anything you say can and will be USED against you!!! Trust me ladies, men are listening to you when you are talking and they are storing all that FREE information into their brain to determine what type of woman you are and thinking about whether or not they should be with you for the long-term or short-term. If you appear to be emotionally unstable you can forget about any good man wanting to be with you long-term, unless he is just as crazy as you are ( LOL). I am not perfect at controlling my emotions either, but my experiences has taught me that when I’m in control over my emotions I feel empowered and I get better results. Below are Tips on controlling your emotions. Before you read the tips remember “if you want to control your emotions, you first have to control your thoughts” -

Tip 1 : Say less, DO MORE… in other words instead of verbalizing your problems to everyone who is willing to listen, process your thoughts with yourself by praying or journaling. Think of your own solutions then TAKE ACTION…. Let your actions do the talking.

Tip 2: Never tell someone how you feel about them until you are sure of how they feel about you….if they don’t tell you, you don’t tell them, save yourself from being disappointed if they don’t feel the same way.

Tip 3: Don’t appear needy: nobody likes the clingy needy girl or guys…give people their space point blank period! Get hobby, find something to do and that does not mean go on facebook and post how much you miss the person…GEEZ REALLY? Too emotionally attached! Lmbo

Tip 4: Be a good LISTNER , WATCH AND LEARN- good listening skills pays off when it comes to controlling your emotions…I once heard, the person who listens the most has the most control over the conversation because they are able to process more than the person who is talking. My grandma used to say “baby the bible says pray and watch.” I will never forget that, I will always pray and watch because you can learn a lot by observing people.

Tip 5: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER become obsessed over anyone, BE OPEN TO EVERYTHING, ATTACHED TO NOTHING! God did not put us on this earth to idolize and worship people…stop saying, “ I don’t know what I will do without him” uumm yes you do, what did you do before you had him??

Those are my TOP 5 tips!! I hope this blog help someone become better at controlling their emotions.

God bless, Keep the FAITH, love Ms. Kinsey

Letter to young women

This letter is dedicated to young women between the ages of 12-21, although some women over the age of 21 can benefit from reading this as well. Ladies, I’m writing this because I am concerned about some of you who are making bad decisions without realizing that, “the decisions you make today determine how you live tomorrow.” There are way too many “teen moms”, too many young women dropping out high school and settling for GED, too many young girls who are promiscuous, too many young women trying to “keep up with the Joneses” and live the fast life. Every time I read an article in newspaper about the alarming rates of teen pregnancy or watch the saga on M.T.V (Teen Mom or 16 and pregnant) I can’t help, but to think what is happening to our youth? When did it become cool to have a baby? Who told these young girls its okay to have a baby that they cannot afford to take care of? Why are so many young women settling for casual sex? What ever happen to waiting for marriage? Why are so many young black women dying of HIV/AIDS or living with herpes and other STD’s? I don’t know the answers to these questions, but I do know that change is necessary and anything I can do to elicit change or to help someone make better decisions, I am willing to do it. It's only right that I speak up because it is my purpose to serve as an inspiration to others.

I’m 27 years young and I’m not perfect by a long shot. I made few mistakes along the way and learned from them, but I‘m grateful to say that the mistakes I made did not alter my life in a major way. I’m grateful to say that I was able to profit off of other peoples experiences….meaning that I witness my close friends and family members go through good and bad situations and I learned quickly what to do and what not to do. I know you can’t always base your life on what other people experience, but TRUST me you can learn a lot by watching and listening to people.

Life Lesson # 1 BE LOYAL 2 YOURSELF – so many of us young women put so much emphasis on being loyal to guys that we date that we forget to be loyal to ourselves. I’ve heard a lot women say “I’m so loyal to my man, I tell him everything… blah blah blah…etc” okay that’s all good, but are you loyal to yourself? And does your man tell you everything? If the answer is no to either question than may be you need to reevaluate what loyalty means in your relationship. Now I’m not saying that a man has to tell you everything in order to show you that he is loyal nor am I telling you not to be loyal to your partner. All I am saying is BE LOYAL TO YOURSELF FIRST! The same energy you spend investing in your man you should spend 3 times as much energy investing in yourself. The reality is “LIFE HAS NO GUARANTEES” even though you want that relationship to last forever, it does not always turn out that way so make sure you come out on top.

Life Lesson #2 DO YOU – when I say “DO YOU” I don’t mean go out and be promiscuous like many of you are already doing. I mean take care of your business. Go to school; get your degree, become an entrepreneur or career woman; don’t let no man, no woman, no human being stop you from achieving your goals. I don’t care how good he looks, how bad you want to have cute little babies with him….STOP and think about long-term consequences. Ask yourself: How will this decision affect me 10 years from now? Be smart and think things through, five minutes of instant gratification can cost you a lifetime of happiness so don’t make impulsive decisions. Don’t worry about whether he will stick around or not if you chose to focus on you, TRUST me if you are a decent respectable woman he will stay or he will come back. No real man is going pass up a good woman that has something going for herself, if he does he is stupid and not the one for you.

Life Lesson # 3 Protect yourself at all times (LOL this reminds me of the Mayweather verses Ortiz fight, LOL if you have no clue what I am talking about Youtube it LOL) –on serious note, I’m talking about protecting yourself when it comes to sex. The reality is times are changing; parents you cannot prevent your teenagers from having sex, the only thing you can do is educate them about it. I don’t know about everyone else, but my mom never had the birds and bees talk with me, I learned about sex in my sex education class in high school. After watching so many disgusting STD’s videos in class the message was clear to me. I knew all the risk associated with having unprotected sex and I was not willing to take that risk. It’s tempting to want to do it, but when I think about long term consequences it’s not worth it. Ladies before you say “he can get it” make sure you know what he has before you get it.

I hope this letter helped a least one young lady think differently about her life. You are special, you deserve the best, you should never settle for less. Know your worth; value your life and THINK, THINK, THINK before you react.

God Bless, KEEP THE FAITH, love Ms. Kinsey

LIFE

Life is what we make it. WORK HARD, STAY FOCUS and don't let anyone steal your dream or your joy. Life is too short to live with regrets so make smart decision. Everything and Everyone who is in your life is there for a reason. Some will be there temporary and some will be there until the end with you, appreciate all of it. Always remember that things is not always what they appear to be...the grass is not always greener on the other side, so stay in your lane and focus on you!

~God Bless, Keep the FAITH, love Ms. Kinsey~

What's The Diffference Between LOVE and IN LOVE?

Last night at my apartment, I had a discussion with 5 intelligent young ladies and I learned a lot about myself, relationships and love. One of the questions raised in our discussion was, “what’s the difference between "LOVE and IN LOVE?" I often hear people say, “I love him/her but I'm not in love. So I asked the ladies for their opinions. One young lady stated, “to be in love means to experience the pain of love." At first I was confused by her statement because to me love does not involve pain, if it’s painful how it can be love? Isn’t that abuse; is what I stated back to her. Another young lady further explained the concept of love and pain. She stated,” we are not talking about pain in physical sense, but to be able to experience the emotions that your partner is experiencing so for example, she said, “if your dude is hurting or having a bad day, you feel a sense of sadness and hurt because you don’t want to see him that way." The other young lady added, “to be in love you cannot be guarded you have to be able to be vulnerable, be willing to give your all even if it means risk getting hurt."

Wow! After listening to these ladies share their personal experience on love and relationships I began to reflect and think about love in a different way. In order to experience true love, you have to learn to love fearlessly, is what I repeated to myself after they left. Guarding our hearts blocks us from experiencing the true essence of love. Often as women we guard our hearts because of fear of getting hurt due to our past experiences or due to witnessing negative experiences of other people relationships. When our heart is guarded we find ourselves running from commitment, ruining good relationships and developing irrational beliefs about love itself. We say things like “love doesn’t exist, love is overrated, there are no good men or women...etc" these negative thoughts keep us from experiencing good relationships. The reason why many people who have these irrational beliefs cannot find a good man or woman is because they don’t believe that one exists.

So I challenge all of you who have given up on love, not to guard your heart, but to let your guard down and believe in love again. One or two bad experiences should not ruin your future experiences. You NEXT should not have to pay for what your EX did. (lol, sorry that’s kind of funny) But on a serious note, as my friend stated, “Love is LIVING, it gives us purpose." Everyone deserves to be loved and find true love. If you have not found love perhaps you need to reflect on your views about love...ask YOURSELF am I guarded. Have I healed from my last relationship? What are my beliefs about love and how have I come to believe that? so the difference between love and in love depends on how much you are willing to invest in a person, are you willing to give a 100% or just 50%....There is no half stepping when you are in love. THINK ABOUT IT!



~ God Bless, keep the FAITH, luv Ms. Kinsey~

My Struggles are my GREATEST Strengths

I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth; I’ve learned how to embrace the struggle. My struggles are my greatest strength because they have made me who I am today. They are reminders that I can overcome anything. The best thing about not having everything handed to you is you learn the value of hard work. Most people do not appreciate what they have because they did not work hard to obtain it. There is nothing that I cannot do, I’m good at everything, now watch me transition from good to great…

To be Continued....

LIFE

Life has its ups and downs, but through it all you must persevere. Keep pushing is what I keep telling myself. I am not where I want to be, but I am grateful that I am not where I used to be. God has placed me where I need to be for the moment. I know somewhere in my future I look a lot better than what I do now. Every day I am setting new goals, constantly working hard to reinvent myself. I work hard on becoming a better communicator, better friend, better sister, and better role model. I realized a long time ago that nothing will change unless I change. I will never allow myself to become a victim of my circumstance, but I will be victorious in every situation. It is wasted energy to think negative so I will remain optimistic about my future.

I'm looking forward to inspiring people around the world. I am looking forward to telling my story; I thank God for the obstacles because now I have a testimony. I am stronger because of what I've been through, grateful that I did not grow up easy with rich parents and everything given to me. Throughout my years I have learned to appreciate the little things in life and not take anything for granted. I often remind myself that life is a temporary assignment, nothing last forever; my job is to figure out what to do in the meantime.

I'm living in my meantime, taking every day one day at a time. Before I leave this earth if it is God's will, I will leave behind a legacy, the world will know my name and people will say I inspired them with my words and my smile brightened up their day. (LOL) I just want to be God's little helper while I'm here on earth. Every day I pray and ask God to use me to help others and every day he answers my prayers. I am truly grateful.

God bless, I AM Keeping the FAITH, Luv Miss Kinsey

Random Love Thoughts

Is it okay to say YES to love when the mind says NO? LOVE is a simple four letter word, but yet the meaning of true love is so complex...The complexity of love is when you love something that does not love you back, it’s when you desire something greater and you’re not sure how to find it, it’s when you look within yourself and you feel complete, but everything around you feel so obsolete.…Love is viewed by some as a confused state of mind…the confusion of it all is when you go through withdrawal… when that special person is no longer with you..Have you ever been LOVE SICK? Or just sick of being in LOVE…the symptoms of discomfort, afraid to be alone, heart ache, racing thoughts, sleepless nights…aren’t you tired of fighting for LOVE…is love really a battlefield? NO! But LUST is… the bible says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV) love isn’t love until you’ve had that type of LOVE…

SINCERELY,
~simply loving me until he finds me~

God Bless, Keep the FAITH, luv Ms. Kinsey

FUN IN THE SUN

UP UP and away we go!!!

I had so much fun parasailing, I believe we were 150 ft in the air




On the Boat getting ready 2 go parasailing, jet skiing, and snorkeling. I had so much fun!

Rev. Al Sharpton

Rev. Al Sharpton preached an awesome message today at New Birth Baptist Church in Miami, Fl. I'm glad I was present to witness his sermon. He preached on Ephesians 6:10-12. I took notes just like I do every Sunday, but there was something special about his message that stuck with me. His four main points were:

topic: Are you ready for the fight? "the reason why most people dont stand up and do what God called them to do is because they are afraid; if you put on the whole armor of God on you don't have to be afraid." ~rev. Sharpton~

1. have you prepared for the fight?
2. do you know your calling or what you are fighting for?
3. do you know who your enemy is?
4. who are the people that are fighting with you are they strong enough to last through entire fight or will they give in?

I know these points may seem vague to you, but he broke them down so eloquently. You had to be there to truly understand his message. I would elaborate more, but its bed time. Goodnite world!

" You got to have a destination to have an arrival" ~rev.al sharpton

~God Bless, KEEP THE FAITH, luv Ms. Kinsey~

Psalms 23

Amen. One of my favorite scriptures

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Beautifully written by Maya Angelou. I love this poem!

Just SMILE...

There are a million reasons to smile, so why waste time frowning? Have you notice when you smile others smile too? Yup your smile is contagious. Life is a beautiful mystery have FUN figuring it out! Don’t waste time on things you cannot change, focus on things you can change. We only get one life to live so LIVE IT UP!!! And always remember to KEEP THE FAITH!

Expressing Your Gratitude

When was the last time you made a GRATITUDE list? Lately, have you thought about the things that you are grateful for? Sometimes we get so caught up in the trials and tribulations of life that we forget to remind ourselves to be thankful for what we have. Even if you are not satisfied with the way your life is going at this moment, creating a gratitude list will help you refocus on positive thoughts instead of negative thinking. I am a firm believer if you THINK POSITIVE you’re more likely to achieve Positive results! …Below is my personal gratitude list, hope it inspires you to make one for yourself.

oGrateful for my FAITH without it I would be lost…
oGrateful for my family – they are always there to support me, even when I am stubborn and choose not to listen
oGrateful for my health- never had surgery or been severely ill
oGrateful for my career, there is no better feeling than helping people change their lives for the better…
oGrateful to have a place to live- there are so many people who are homeless
oGrateful for my best friend Caly and my sister in Christ Elissia, they are amazing young ladies
oGrateful to be book smart and street smart – both always come in handy
oGrateful for my vehicle- public transportation sucks
oGrateful for strawberry cheesecake and cookies and cream ice cream…yummy my favorite desserts
oGrateful for this sunny weather-thank goodness I am away from the snow

Okay Folks, it's your turn...what are you grateful for?

~God Bless, Keep the FAITH, love Ms. Kinsey~

1st Amendment Stand Up - Gary Owen

wow!! LOL Gary Owens is hilarious...

Todd Lynn on "Relationships"

LOL "monkey-bar" lmbo I think this is funny, what are your thoughts about this video? is the monkey bar analogy true?

American Idol- Funny Auditions Season 9 2010

I miss simon as a judge, season 10 has the same wannabe singers and weirdos as the previous seasons, but its not the same without simon.

LOVE

LOVE. LOVE . LOVE. It feels so good when it’s with the right person at the right time. Love is something that everyone longs for; it’s a part of our basic needs. Timing is everything when it comes to experiencing true love. To experience the true essence of love you have to be emotionally, spiritually and mentally fit. Ask yourself am I ready for love? Have I gotten rid of the baggage and self-defeating thoughts that are weighing me down emotionally, spiritually and mentally? Have I found love within myself or am I expecting to find it with someone else?

Some people are afraid to be alone so they rush into relationships hoping to fill the void of loneliness and expecting they will find love. Unfortunately, they are mistakenly wrong; instead of obtaining love they end up heartbroken and feeling worse than they did before getting into the relationship. Why is this? It’s because people fail to realize that they must first fall in love with themselves before loving another human being. If you do not know how to love yourself, how are you going to love someone else? If you are afraid to be alone with yourself it’s probably because you have not learned to love yourself.

Loving yourself is more than getting your hair, nails, or buying material things that bring you temporary happiness. Self-Love is a permanent transformation from within. It involves getting rid of those negative messages that you received as a child and cleaning out your spirit. It also involves eliminating people out of your life who do not promote self-love instead they play on your insecurities and weakness and use it to their advantage.

The advantage of loving yourself is not allowing anyone to determine your worth or define who you are, but knowing that you are worthy enough to walk away from all things that are not adding value to your life. You see when you love yourself you learn to put yourself first, you learn to feel good about who you are no matter what people say, you learn to do the things that make you happy, you know how to make yourself happy with or without the presence of other people. Most importantly you know that the only one you should aim to please is God because he is the definition of LOVE. If you want to have a better understanding of how to love your-self and others read (1 Corinthians 13).

“LOVE IS THE GREATEST GIFT DON’T CONFUSE IT WITH LUST”
“LOVE WITHOUT FAITH & TRUST ISNT LOVE AT ALL”
“IN ORDER TO EXPERIENCE TRUE LOVE YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO LOVE FEARLESSLY”

~God Bless, Keep the Faith, Love Ms. Kinsey~

SAVE OUR BLACK MEN & COMMUNITY

Why are so many black men dying? Seem like every time I watch the news there is a sad story about another young black man who was murdered. Even worse 85 percent of the time the perpetrator of the crime is also black. We can’t blame the "white man", we are killing each other. What will it take for black people to come together and stop the violence? It saddens me to think that if the violence does not end soon our black men will become extinct. Some people may think that’s a bit far- fetched; but I believe it is truly possible. According to statistics, blacks represent 13 percent of the U.S. population. This percentage is a small number considering that there are approximately 312 million people in the U.S. Not to mention, the availability of positive black men in the community is scarce. There are more black men incarcerated than any other race. There are also more black men who are unemployed and come from single parent households. It’s evident that there are risk factors associated with violence in the black community; however, not much is being done to prevent black on black crimes and reduce the overall prevalence of violence in the community as a whole.

I believe 'we' as black people need to be proactive in our community and speak up about putting an end to violence in our community. Don’t wait until the news broadcasters arrive on the scene of the crime to speak up, SPEAK UP NOW! We need to write letters to the mayor, the governor and even our president demanding that something be done. We are the ones who elect the politicians into office so we need to hold them accountable to helping us make our communities a safe place to live.

Everyone deserves to live in a peaceful and safe environment regardless of race, economic status or geographical location. There is nothing worse than hearing helicopters flying over your house and gun shots outside of your window while you are trying to enjoy dinner with your family. I am tired of seeing the "Rest in Peace T-shirts", tired of watching the sad homicide stories on the news, tired of our black men dying and our black women crying and I am tired of the "no snitching rule." It's time to do something different, let’s come together and make a difference in our community.

~God Bless, Keep the FAITH, luv Ms. Kinsey~

Fun Times

Akon & young sheek at the Improv Comedy show in Fortlauderdale, Fl. Eddie Griffin was the featured comic and he was hella funny. If you've never seen Eddie live I highly recommend you check him out. #livingmylife2thefullest