LOVE

LOVE. LOVE . LOVE. It feels so good when it’s with the right person at the right time. Love is something that everyone longs for; it’s a part of our basic needs. Timing is everything when it comes to experiencing true love. To experience the true essence of love you have to be emotionally, spiritually and mentally fit. Ask yourself am I ready for love? Have I gotten rid of the baggage and self-defeating thoughts that are weighing me down emotionally, spiritually and mentally? Have I found love within myself or am I expecting to find it with someone else?

Some people are afraid to be alone so they rush into relationships hoping to fill the void of loneliness and expecting they will find love. Unfortunately, they are mistakenly wrong; instead of obtaining love they end up heartbroken and feeling worse than they did before getting into the relationship. Why is this? It’s because people fail to realize that they must first fall in love with themselves before loving another human being. If you do not know how to love yourself, how are you going to love someone else? If you are afraid to be alone with yourself it’s probably because you have not learned to love yourself.

Loving yourself is more than getting your hair, nails, or buying material things that bring you temporary happiness. Self-Love is a permanent transformation from within. It involves getting rid of those negative messages that you received as a child and cleaning out your spirit. It also involves eliminating people out of your life who do not promote self-love instead they play on your insecurities and weakness and use it to their advantage.

The advantage of loving yourself is not allowing anyone to determine your worth or define who you are, but knowing that you are worthy enough to walk away from all things that are not adding value to your life. You see when you love yourself you learn to put yourself first, you learn to feel good about who you are no matter what people say, you learn to do the things that make you happy, you know how to make yourself happy with or without the presence of other people. Most importantly you know that the only one you should aim to please is God because he is the definition of LOVE. If you want to have a better understanding of how to love your-self and others read (1 Corinthians 13).

“LOVE IS THE GREATEST GIFT DON’T CONFUSE IT WITH LUST”
“LOVE WITHOUT FAITH & TRUST ISNT LOVE AT ALL”
“IN ORDER TO EXPERIENCE TRUE LOVE YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO LOVE FEARLESSLY”

~God Bless, Keep the Faith, Love Ms. Kinsey~

SAVE OUR BLACK MEN & COMMUNITY

Why are so many black men dying? Seem like every time I watch the news there is a sad story about another young black man who was murdered. Even worse 85 percent of the time the perpetrator of the crime is also black. We can’t blame the "white man", we are killing each other. What will it take for black people to come together and stop the violence? It saddens me to think that if the violence does not end soon our black men will become extinct. Some people may think that’s a bit far- fetched; but I believe it is truly possible. According to statistics, blacks represent 13 percent of the U.S. population. This percentage is a small number considering that there are approximately 312 million people in the U.S. Not to mention, the availability of positive black men in the community is scarce. There are more black men incarcerated than any other race. There are also more black men who are unemployed and come from single parent households. It’s evident that there are risk factors associated with violence in the black community; however, not much is being done to prevent black on black crimes and reduce the overall prevalence of violence in the community as a whole.

I believe 'we' as black people need to be proactive in our community and speak up about putting an end to violence in our community. Don’t wait until the news broadcasters arrive on the scene of the crime to speak up, SPEAK UP NOW! We need to write letters to the mayor, the governor and even our president demanding that something be done. We are the ones who elect the politicians into office so we need to hold them accountable to helping us make our communities a safe place to live.

Everyone deserves to live in a peaceful and safe environment regardless of race, economic status or geographical location. There is nothing worse than hearing helicopters flying over your house and gun shots outside of your window while you are trying to enjoy dinner with your family. I am tired of seeing the "Rest in Peace T-shirts", tired of watching the sad homicide stories on the news, tired of our black men dying and our black women crying and I am tired of the "no snitching rule." It's time to do something different, let’s come together and make a difference in our community.

~God Bless, Keep the FAITH, luv Ms. Kinsey~

Fun Times

Akon & young sheek at the Improv Comedy show in Fortlauderdale, Fl. Eddie Griffin was the featured comic and he was hella funny. If you've never seen Eddie live I highly recommend you check him out. #livingmylife2thefullest

WHAT "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND" REALLY MEANS

I decided to write this blog to give men a better understanding of why some women say they have a boyfriend when they really do not. I hope that this blog will help you gain insight into the mind of a woman who is not interested in you. This is not a “put a man down/man hater blog” it is a blog to encourage you to move on and not become one of those desperate beasty men who do not understand what I HAVE A BOYFRIEND MEAN.LOL…

Okay fellas when a girl tells you she has a boyfriend, it can mean two things; One she REALLY has a boyfriend and in that case is not interested in dating you or TWO she DOES NOT have a boyfriend and still not interested in dating you. So if the latter statement is true, you might be wondering, why would a female tell you she has a boyfriend if she really does not? It’s simple. Most females understand that it takes a lot of courage for a man to approach a woman and ask for a date or for the 7digits (LOL) so if we are not attracted to you, but do not want to be the MEAN girl that hurts your feelings or crush your ego, we say we have a boyfriend. It’s really simple, so do not make it complex. You see fellas we are looking out for your feelings. Would you rather hear a woman say, “I don’t like you or I have a boyfriend”? Most of you guys are probably thinking, “She should be honest and just say she does not like me”. The problem with being honest is some men cannot handle the truth, nowadays if you tell a man you do not like him, he is ready to call you a BIT@CH and all types of foul words. Women are tired of getting cursed out for telling the truth so we take the easy way out and say “I have a boyfriend”

Fellas, Let me let you in on a little secret that most women won’t tell you or admit to. Women know from the moment they meet a guy whether they want to be friends or more than friends. I’ve heard some women say that they know when they first meet a guy whether or not they will have sex with him. So fellas a woman’s mind is made up before you get a chance to say anything. Most of the time its best if you don’t say anything because you might say something that will put you on the “forever friend list”…LOL , that’s right women have a “ forever friends list” it’s every man nightmare to be on that list, especially if the woman is attractive.

So what’s the solution? If you don’t want to be on the “forever friends list” or you do not want another single woman to tell you “I have a boyfriend.” I suggest that you do the following: if you are not that attractive, but you have a good personality, I suggest you use your sense of humor to lure her in. Now I am not saying walk up to her with a corny joke or acting like a clown… NO! What I am saying is you should play it cool and when the opportunity is right walk up to her and make her laugh. Do not try to be mister funny guy if she is with all of her friends, wait until she is alone and looking like she needs someone to talk too. Okay, now if you are attractive, LOSE the cocky attitude, attractive guys get turned down too. An attractive guy has to pretend like he’s not attractive if he wants to get a woman attention especially if she is attractive. One thing I cannot stand is a cocky arrogant man who thinks that he can get any woman he wants. Believe it or not those men are the ones who hear “I have a boyfriend” a lot because their ego needs to be deflated. So PLAY IT COOL PLAYA! THERE IS A WOMAN OUT THERE FOR YOU!

~God bless, Keep the FAITH, love Miss Kinsey~

WRITERS BLOCK WILL NOT STOP ME!

I have been writing a book for over a year now and it is a difficult task. I often get writers block and I am starting to second guess myself on this project. I know that with time I will be able to fulfill this goal of mine, but I pray that God gives me the wisdom and knowledge to complete what I have started. I was researching online tips on how to be a great writer and one of the tips was to write and read everyday for at least an hour. Today, I am dedicating my hour to talk about my desire to finish this book. Listed below is what I hope to accomplish by writing this book.

1. I hope to leave a legacy behind for my family to cherish; in my opinion, a book is a legacy because words are everlasting and can change the way people think about the world around them.

2. I hope to encourage men and women to find themselves, discover who they are, and fall in love with themselves and God before committing to another person or getting into a relationship.

3. Lastly, this book serves as motivation for me. I know that I can achieve anything that I put my mind to... as long as God is in the midst, I cannot fail.

I believe in myself, I have accomplished many goals and I will accomplish this too!!

God bless me! I will keep the FAITH!!!

~Ms.Kinsey~

How long should you wait before you get married? How do you know when you are ready for marriage?

It’s been awhile since I wrote a blog about love and relationships so since this is long overdue, I hope you enjoy reading it or at least be entertained. Before I begin let me add a Disclaimer: I Yaschia Kinsey is NOT a Love expert, I write strictly for entertainment purposes. Everything that is written is based off of witnessing other people’s experiences or my own personal experiences. I do not sugar coat anything and sometimes my sarcasm can be offensive, so now that you’ve been warned we can begin.

How long should you wait before you get married? How do you know when you are ready for marriage?

About a month ago, I posted this question on my Facebook status and I received a couple of responses that were thought provoking, but nevertheless, I decided to write about it.

Is 6 months too soon? Is 5 years too long? ….I know people who have been together for 6 months and got married. I also know people that have been in a relationship for 10 years and still together, but are not married. So I cannot help, but to wonder why some people are quick to rush into marriage and why some are taking forever to tie the knot. Now I know every circumstance is different and it depends on the individuals ….yea yea yea all that is true, but there has to be a more profound explanation to the questions above.

Nowadays, seems like more people are getting married sooner than later. Seems like marriage is becoming a hobby; I have friends in their 20’s that are already married. I am happy for them, but sometimes I wonder what would make them do such a thing at a young age. Most of them have kids, they tell me, "They love their girl and they want to keep the family together… and feel it’s the right thing to do." I’m not knocking or doubting their love for each other, but I definitely do not think people should get married because they have kids together and society tells them it’s the right thing to do. Now that I think about it, there are very few people nowadays who get married before they have kids… so is kids the motivating factor for marriage? Or are women just saying “yes I will marry you” because the guy ask them too? What’s the big obsession with marriage?

It seems like women wait their whole lives for the right guy to pop the big question. I know some women all they think and talk about is marriage. They do not even know why they want to get married. They use LOVE as a justification, but to me you can love a person and never marry them, a piece of paper does not define love. Moreover, is love really enough to keep a marriage together? I would have to say, NO. I know plenty of people who love their partner and divorce them because of financial reasons. In fact, research shows that the number one reason people get divorced is because of money problems (so in the words of Tina Turner “What’s Love got to do with it” LOL). Another justification for marriage that is overly used is “I no longer want to live in sin.” Okay, I can understand that, but if you are marrying the person just because you do not want people to think that you are a heathen or because you want to be politically correct by doing so, then you are being deceptive and deception is also a sin. Is one sin greater than the other? I do not think so. Lastly, I often hear women say, “I am getting too old my biological clock is ticking, I need to hurry up and find me a husband.” Regardless of what your biological clock is saying, if you marry someone for that reason alone, a few years later you will be one old miserable divorced lady….LOL

Regardless of what you should never be in a rush to get married. Marriage is a HUGE commitment and you should not sign up for it if you are not certain why you want it. If you have been with your partner for more than 5 years and you are not married yet, there is probably good reason for that. Maybe the person is not sure yet. If you are ready and he is not maybe you should move on because there is no guarantee that person will ever be ready. If you been with your partner for 6 months and you are married; I hope you know why you got married and I hope those reasons are good enough to get you through the hard times because there will be hard times.

The one way you can figure out why you want to get married is to do some deep thinking and soul searching. Ask yourself and partner a lot of questions. Below are a few questions you should ask yourself and partner…

YOURSELF
Why am I getting married? What is it that I like the least about this person and can I live with that for the rest of my life? Can and do I trust this person? What is my partner view on family and how does he/she treat his family? How do I deal with conflict and how does he deal with conflict? When we argue what’s the first thought that comes to mind? Do I think about or still love someone else?
PARTNER
What are your expectations about marriage? Why do you want to marry me? How much debt are you in and what’s our financial plan? How many kids do you want to have or are you marrying me because of the kids? Is there anything /secrets you want to tell me before we get married?

These are just a few questions, if you are not satisfied with your partner answers maybe you should consider waiting. Remember marriage is easy to get into, but harder to get out of….. I’ve seen some messy divorces and I don’t want that to be you so think about it and ask about it before you decide to do it!

God Bless, Keep the FAITH, Luv Miss Kinsey

Is Your Glass Half Empty or Half Full?

As I sit here drinking this cranberry juice wondering what I should write about, the first thought that comes to mind is : My life> At this point in my life I feel complete, but yet half full. I know that does not make sense to most people, but to me it makes perfect sense. I am the type of person that's never satisfied, I always want more of something, especially when it pertains to my career objectives. I feel complete because I accomplished some of my childhood goals, but incomplete because everyday I'm adding a new goal to the list. I hear people say," I just want to be successful” I often wonder how other’s defining success. Success to me is accomplishing all of my goals, and since I have so many I will always be chasing success. Success is not a destination nor can it be measured by monetary gain. Public figures like Russell Simmons, Oprah, Pdiddy, Bill Gates, and Donald Trump are wealthy, but the wealth they acquired isn’t what makes them successful at least not from my point of view. The mere fact that they don’t limit themselves and continue to strive for more is what makes them smarter then those who think they have "arrived" and are content with being complacent.

People who understand that success is not a destination is constantly setting new goals. Once they accomplish one goal their on to the next. If you get to that point in your life and you start to think " NOW WHAT?" Quickly sit down and think about your next move. “NOW WHAT?" means that you don't have enough goals or have run out of things to do? Believe it or not everyone at some point will reach that NOW WHAT? Moment, hopefully it’s when you've accomplished all of your goals and dreams. Some people don’t have a lot of goals, and that fine, do whatever makes you happy, just don't settle for less then you deserve. We only get one life; everyone deserves to have all there dreams come true.

Motivation Quotes:
"Your DreamS Will not come true Until you WAKE up and Make them happen"
“You are your own distraction; the only person that can get in your way is YOU"
“Drop that T off CAN'T and say YES I CAN...lol"

God Bless, Keep the Faith, Love Miss Kinsey

How do you know when you’ve outgrown your friends?

*this note is not a personal attack on any of my friends, please don't take it personal. I am simply expressing my opinion on a topic that many people can relate too*

How do you know when you’ve outgrown your friends?

This is a question that I have asked myself several times over the last few years. As I sit and meditate on where I am in my life I can’t help, but to be honest with myself and acknowledge that my relationship with some of my friends have changed. It saddens me to think that we have grown apart. Some days I sit back and reminisce about the friendships I had growing up. When I was younger I hung out with a group of girls practically everyday. These girls were like my sisters, and in my heart they still are. Back then we did everything together. We went to the same schools; we shopped together, partied, slept over at each others houses; shared secrets, got into fights, talked about our life goals, etc. There was no doubt in my mind that these girls would forever be my friends.

It seems like everything changed once we graduated from high school. Some of us went to different colleges/universities, and some stayed in the town. My first couple of years in college I kept in touch with most of them. I would go home on the weekends and hangout with them. After awhile seems like phone calls and hanging out died out. I started to feel like there was no reason for me to travel home anymore. I got tired of going to same parties, listening to same hood stories, and seeing the same people in the town. Besides, every time I came home I would constantly hear negative criticism from some friends and family members. People would say to me “girl you act different since you went to college… you act like a white girl.” Or they would say, “you think you better because you in college.” Honestly, I was tired of hearing those sarcastic remarks. Of course these remarks came from people who never went to college. It’s funny to me how ignorant people can be sometimes. Do they really think, I worked this hard to stay the same (jay-z voice)? I am suppose to sound different, look different and behave different.

A few months ago I realized I have outgrown some of my friends. Most of my friends aren’t interested in the same things that I am interested in. If I called some of them right now and asked them to attend a professional seminar with me, most of them would not be interested. Likewise, if they called me and asked me to go to a bar, I would not be interested. Our conversations differ also, some of my friends still like to gossip and talk about the latest drama in the neighborhood. I find myself getting really annoyed with these conversations and I often try to change the subject. I know that this is a sign that I have outgrown the friendship. For awhile I was in denial and I did not want to lose any of my friends, but now I realize that some people do not want to change and are content with where they are. So I choose to love them from a distance.

I read this quote the other day that said, “You don’t have to change friends, if you realize that friends change.” At first I agreed with that quote until I read another quote that said “you are the average of your five closest friends.” If the last quote is true, I want my five closest friends to be educated, respectful, business oriented go-getters who do not have time for negativity and drama.

~God Bless, Keep the FAITH ,love Miss Kinsey~