Ms.Kinsey's Words of Wisdom

How do you regain TRUST back after painful BREAKUP?

2011-11-05T14:15:00.000-04:00

So you just broke up with your girlfriend or boyfriend… what was the reason for the breakup? You lied, cheated, loss interest, the sex was bad or you just couldn’t stand being with the person anymore. May be the breakup did not end on bad terms, perhaps both of you agreed to be friends and date other people. Whatever the case may be, I’m sure the breakup wasn’t easy for either of you. So where do you go from here….
If your plan is to get the person back because after few months of being a part you realized you messed up, you have a lot of work to do. If your plan is to move on to something better because going back would be a nightmare, you still have a lot of work to do.

Let’s explore the first plan of getting the person back. The number one thing that is on that person’s mind and your mind is TRUST? Will he/she be able to trust me again or what will it take to regain the trust back? Trust is definitely a necessity in a relationship. Trust can be defined as “confidence or faith in a person or thing to carry out their commitment.” Trust is often earned and not given. Trust is a verb, not a noun; therefore it is shown through action. If you are to regain a person’s trust back, the one obvious thing you can do is keep your commitment and follow through with your word. If you say you are going to do something, make sure you do it. Being honest and open about your feelings is another way to make sure your needs is getting met and also helps foster a trusting relationship.

If you have violated the person’s trust, you cannot expect the person to trust you right away. It takes time to build trust and sometimes you never fully gain trust back. People often will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel. Depending on the type of person you are dealing with, once trust is broken that person will become guarded and detached emotionally. You have to understand the person you are dealing with, then ask yourself, is he or she worth fighting for? And if this person never trusts me again will I be able to have a healthy relationship with them?

Patience, prayer, persistence can take you a long way in a relationship. It also important to keep in mind that going back isn’t always the answer, just like finding something new does not always mean it’s going to be better. It’s more important for you to evaluate yourself and identify the things that you need to work on so that you can be a better man/woman and attract a better mate in the future. If you do not have a healthy mind set you will find yourself in unhealthy relationships over and over again. Before you jump into your next relationship or go back to a previous relationship take time to be alone and discover who you are.

God Bless, Keep the FAITH, luv Ms.Kinsey

Tips on Controlling your EMOTIONS…while Dating or in a Relationship

2011-10-18T20:14:00.000-04:00

Hello people, thanks for reading this blog. I hope it help someone. I am going to be quick and straight to the point with this one. I often hear people say, “ Women are too emotional “ and I believe that is a true statement, however, I also believe that men are just as emotional as women they just do good job at controlling it. Women we show our EMOTIONS way too much. When we are upset we have to talk about it, when we are happy we have to talk about it, when we are sad we have to cry and talk about it, when we are lonely WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT! You get the point, we talk too much about how we feel and that is sometimes annoying and uncomfortable for men to deal with. Ever notice that a man rarely talks about what he is going through, that’s because he understands that it’s not necessary to talk about everything. Sometimes it’s good to just SHUT UP and keep your thoughts to yourself. I am not saying that it is always good to remain silent, but just know WOMEN…YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT… anything you say can and will be USED against you!!! Trust me ladies, men are listening to you when you are talking and they are storing all that FREE information into their brain to determine what type of woman you are and thinking about whether or not they should be with you for the long-term or short-term. If you appear to be emotionally unstable you can forget about any good man wanting to be with you long-term, unless he is just as crazy as you are ( LOL). I am not perfect at controlling my emotions either, but my experiences has taught me that when I’m in control over my emotions I feel empowered and I get better results. Below are Tips on controlling your emotions. Before you read the tips remember “if you want to control your emotions, you first have to control your thoughts” -

Tip 1 : Say less, DO MORE… in other words instead of verbalizing your problems to everyone who is willing to listen, process your thoughts with yourself by praying or journaling. Think of your own solutions then TAKE ACTION…. Let your actions do the talking.

Tip 2: Never tell someone how you feel about them until you are sure of how they feel about you….if they don’t tell you, you don’t tell them, save yourself from being disappointed if they don’t feel the same way.

Tip 3: Don’t appear needy: nobody likes the clingy needy girl or guys…give people their space point blank period! Get hobby, find something to do and that does not mean go on facebook and post how much you miss the person…GEEZ REALLY? Too emotionally attached! Lmbo

Tip 4: Be a good LISTNER , WATCH AND LEARN- good listening skills pays off when it comes to controlling your emotions…I once heard, the person who listens the most has the most control over the conversation because they are able to process more than the person who is talking. My grandma used to say “baby the bible says pray and watch.” I will never forget that, I will always pray and watch because you can learn a lot by observing people.

Tip 5: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER become obsessed over anyone, BE OPEN TO EVERYTHING, ATTACHED TO NOTHING! God did not put us on this earth to idolize and worship people…stop saying, “ I don’t know what I will do without him” uumm yes you do, what did you do before you had him??

Those are my TOP 5 tips!! I hope this blog help someone become better at controlling their emotions.

God bless, Keep the FAITH, love Ms. Kinsey

Letter to young women

2011-09-21T20:16:00.003-04:00

This letter is dedicated to young women between the ages of 12-21, although some women over the age of 21 can benefit from reading this as well. Ladies, I’m writing this because I am concerned about some of you who are making bad decisions without realizing that, “the decisions you make today determine how you live tomorrow.” There are way too many “teen moms”, too many young women dropping out high school and settling for GED, too many young girls who are promiscuous, too many young women trying to “keep up with the Joneses” and live the fast life. Every time I read an article in newspaper about the alarming rates of teen pregnancy or watch the saga on M.T.V (Teen Mom or 16 and pregnant) I can’t help, but to think what is happening to our youth? When did it become cool to have a baby? Who told these young girls its okay to have a baby that they cannot afford to take care of? Why are so many young women settling for casual sex? What ever happen to waiting for marriage? Why are so many young black women dying of HIV/AIDS or living with herpes and other STD’s? I don’t know the answers to these questions, but I do know that change is necessary and anything I can do to elicit change or to help someone make better decisions, I am willing to do it. It's only right that I speak up because it is my purpose to serve as an inspiration to others.

I’m 27 years young and I’m not perfect by a long shot. I made few mistakes along the way and learned from them, but I‘m grateful to say that the mistakes I made did not alter my life in a major way. I’m grateful to say that I was able to profit off of other peoples experiences….meaning that I witness my close friends and family members go through good and bad situations and I learned quickly what to do and what not to do. I know you can’t always base your life on what other people experience, but TRUST me you can learn a lot by watching and listening to people.

Life Lesson # 1 BE LOYAL 2 YOURSELF – so many of us young women put so much emphasis on being loyal to guys that we date that we forget to be loyal to ourselves. I’ve heard a lot women say “I’m so loyal to my man, I tell him everything… blah blah blah…etc” okay that’s all good, but are you loyal to yourself? And does your man tell you everything? If the answer is no to either question than may be you need to reevaluate what loyalty means in your relationship. Now I’m not saying that a man has to tell you everything in order to show you that he is loyal nor am I telling you not to be loyal to your partner. All I am saying is BE LOYAL TO YOURSELF FIRST! The same energy you spend investing in your man you should spend 3 times as much energy investing in yourself. The reality is “LIFE HAS NO GUARANTEES” even though you want that relationship to last forever, it does not always turn out that way so make sure you come out on top.

Life Lesson #2 DO YOU – when I say “DO YOU” I don’t mean go out and be promiscuous like many of you are already doing. I mean take care of your business. Go to school; get your degree, become an entrepreneur or career woman; don’t let no man, no woman, no human being stop you from achieving your goals. I don’t care how good he looks, how bad you want to have cute little babies with him….STOP and think about long-term consequences. Ask yourself: How will this decision affect me 10 years from now? Be smart and think things through, five minutes of instant gratification can cost you a lifetime of happiness so don’t make impulsive decisions. Don’t worry about whether he will stick around or not if you chose to focus on you, TRUST me if you are a decent respectable woman he will stay or he will come back. No real man is going pass up a good woman that has something going for herself, if he does he is stupid and not the one for you.

Life Lesson # 3 Protect yourself at all times (LOL this reminds me of the Mayweather verses Ortiz fight, LOL if you have no clue what I am talking about Youtube it LOL) –on serious note, I’m talking about protecting yourself when it comes to sex. The reality is times are changing; parents you cannot prevent your teenagers from having sex, the only thing you can do is educate them about it. I don’t know about everyone else, but my mom never had the birds and bees talk with me, I learned about sex in my sex education class in high school. After watching so many disgusting STD’s videos in class the message was clear to me. I knew all the risk associated with having unprotected sex and I was not willing to take that risk. It’s tempting to want to do it, but when I think about long term consequences it’s not worth it. Ladies before you say “he can get it” make sure you know what he has before you get it.

I hope this letter helped a least one young lady think differently about her life. You are special, you deserve the best, you should never settle for less. Know your worth; value your life and THINK, THINK, THINK before you react.

God Bless, KEEP THE FAITH, love Ms. Kinsey

LIFE

2011-06-08T19:12:00.002-04:00

Life is what we make it. WORK HARD, STAY FOCUS and don't let anyone steal your dream or your joy. Life is too short to live with regrets so make smart decision. Everything and Everyone who is in your life is there for a reason. Some will be there temporary and some will be there until the end with you, appreciate all of it. Always remember that things is not always what they appear to be...the grass is not always greener on the other side, so stay in your lane and focus on you!

~God Bless, Keep the FAITH, love Ms. Kinsey~

What's The Diffference Between LOVE and IN LOVE?

2011-05-14T14:53:00.000-04:00

Last night at my apartment, I had a discussion with 5 intelligent young ladies and I learned a lot about myself, relationships and love. One of the questions raised in our discussion was, “what’s the difference between "LOVE and IN LOVE?" I often hear people say, “I love him/her but I'm not in love. So I asked the ladies for their opinions. One young lady stated, “to be in love means to experience the pain of love." At first I was confused by her statement because to me love does not involve pain, if it’s painful how it can be love? Isn’t that abuse; is what I stated back to her. Another young lady further explained the concept of love and pain. She stated,” we are not talking about pain in physical sense, but to be able to experience the emotions that your partner is experiencing so for example, she said, “if your dude is hurting or having a bad day, you feel a sense of sadness and hurt because you don’t want to see him that way." The other young lady added, “to be in love you cannot be guarded you have to be able to be vulnerable, be willing to give your all even if it means risk getting hurt."

Wow! After listening to these ladies share their personal experience on love and relationships I began to reflect and think about love in a different way. In order to experience true love, you have to learn to love fearlessly, is what I repeated to myself after they left. Guarding our hearts blocks us from experiencing the true essence of love. Often as women we guard our hearts because of fear of getting hurt due to our past experiences or due to witnessing negative experiences of other people relationships. When our heart is guarded we find ourselves running from commitment, ruining good relationships and developing irrational beliefs about love itself. We say things like “love doesn’t exist, love is overrated, there are no good men or women...etc" these negative thoughts keep us from experiencing good relationships. The reason why many people who have these irrational beliefs cannot find a good man or woman is because they don’t believe that one exists.

So I challenge all of you who have given up on love, not to guard your heart, but to let your guard down and believe in love again. One or two bad experiences should not ruin your future experiences. You NEXT should not have to pay for what your EX did. (lol, sorry that’s kind of funny) But on a serious note, as my friend stated, “Love is LIVING, it gives us purpose." Everyone deserves to be loved and find true love. If you have not found love perhaps you need to reflect on your views about love...ask YOURSELF am I guarded. Have I healed from my last relationship? What are my beliefs about love and how have I come to believe that? so the difference between love and in love depends on how much you are willing to invest in a person, are you willing to give a 100% or just 50%....There is no half stepping when you are in love. THINK ABOUT IT!

~ God Bless, keep the FAITH, luv Ms. Kinsey~

My Struggles are my GREATEST Strengths

2011-04-28T15:45:00.000-04:00

I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth; I’ve learned how to embrace the struggle. My struggles are my greatest strength because they have made me who I am today. They are reminders that I can overcome anything. The best thing about not having everything handed to you is you learn the value of hard work. Most people do not appreciate what they have because they did not work hard to obtain it. There is nothing that I cannot do, I’m good at everything, now watch me transition from good to great…

To be Continued....

LIFE

2011-04-22T21:45:00.005-04:00

Life has its ups and downs, but through it all you must persevere. Keep pushing is what I keep telling myself. I am not where I want to be, but I am grateful that I am not where I used to be. God has placed me where I need to be for the moment. I know somewhere in my future I look a lot better than what I do now. Every day I am setting new goals, constantly working hard to reinvent myself. I work hard on becoming a better communicator, better friend, better sister, and better role model. I realized a long time ago that nothing will change unless I change. I will never allow myself to become a victim of my circumstance, but I will be victorious in every situation. It is wasted energy to think negative so I will remain optimistic about my future.

I'm looking forward to inspiring people around the world. I am looking forward to telling my story; I thank God for the obstacles because now I have a testimony. I am stronger because of what I've been through, grateful that I did not grow up easy with rich parents and everything given to me. Throughout my years I have learned to appreciate the little things in life and not take anything for granted. I often remind myself that life is a temporary assignment, nothing last forever; my job is to figure out what to do in the meantime.

I'm living in my meantime, taking every day one day at a time. Before I leave this earth if it is God's will, I will leave behind a legacy, the world will know my name and people will say I inspired them with my words and my smile brightened up their day. (LOL) I just want to be God's little helper while I'm here on earth. Every day I pray and ask God to use me to help others and every day he answers my prayers. I am truly grateful.

God bless, I AM Keeping the FAITH, Luv Miss Kinsey

Random Love Thoughts

2011-03-15T11:55:00.001-04:00

Is it okay to say YES to love when the mind says NO? LOVE is a simple four letter word, but yet the meaning of true love is so complex...The complexity of love is when you love something that does not love you back, it’s when you desire something greater and you’re not sure how to find it, it’s when you look within yourself and you feel complete, but everything around you feel so obsolete.…Love is viewed by some as a confused state of mind…the confusion of it all is when you go through withdrawal… when that special person is no longer with you..Have you ever been LOVE SICK? Or just sick of being in LOVE…the symptoms of discomfort, afraid to be alone, heart ache, racing thoughts, sleepless nights…aren’t you tired of fighting for LOVE…is love really a battlefield? NO! But LUST is… the bible says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV) love isn’t love until you’ve had that type of LOVE…

SINCERELY,
~simply loving me until he finds me~

God Bless, Keep the FAITH, luv Ms. Kinsey

FUN IN THE SUN

2011-03-06T16:40:00.004-05:00

UP UP and away we go!!!

I had so much fun parasailing, I believe we were 150 ft in the air

On the Boat getting ready 2 go parasailing, jet skiing, and snorkeling. I had so much fun!

Rev. Al Sharpton

2011-02-28T00:22:00.004-05:00

Rev. Al Sharpton preached an awesome message today at New Birth Baptist Church in Miami, Fl. I'm glad I was present to witness his sermon. He preached on Ephesians 6:10-12. I took notes just like I do every Sunday, but there was something special about his message that stuck with me. His four main points were:

topic: Are you ready for the fight? "the reason why most people dont stand up and do what God called them to do is because they are afraid; if you put on the whole armor of God on you don't have to be afraid." ~rev. Sharpton~

1. have you prepared for the fight?
2. do you know your calling or what you are fighting for?
3. do you know who your enemy is?
4. who are the people that are fighting with you are they strong enough to last through entire fight or will they give in?

I know these points may seem vague to you, but he broke them down so eloquently. You had to be there to truly understand his message. I would elaborate more, but its bed time. Goodnite world!

" You got to have a destination to have an arrival" ~rev.al sharpton

~God Bless, KEEP THE FAITH, luv Ms. Kinsey~

Psalms 23

2011-02-13T12:13:00.003-05:00

Amen. One of my favorite scriptures

Still I Rise

2011-02-02T00:15:00.003-05:00

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Beautifully written by Maya Angelou. I love this poem!

Just SMILE...

2011-01-29T00:14:00.006-05:00

There are a million reasons to smile, so why waste time frowning? Have you notice when you smile others smile too? Yup your smile is contagious. Life is a beautiful mystery have FUN figuring it out! Don’t waste time on things you cannot change, focus on things you can change. We only get one life to live so LIVE IT UP!!! And always remember to KEEP THE FAITH!

Expressing Your Gratitude

2011-01-25T12:03:00.004-05:00

When was the last time you made a GRATITUDE list? Lately, have you thought about the things that you are grateful for? Sometimes we get so caught up in the trials and tribulations of life that we forget to remind ourselves to be thankful for what we have. Even if you are not satisfied with the way your life is going at this moment, creating a gratitude list will help you refocus on positive thoughts instead of negative thinking. I am a firm believer if you THINK POSITIVE you’re more likely to achieve Positive results! …Below is my personal gratitude list, hope it inspires you to make one for yourself.

oGrateful for my FAITH without it I would be lost…
oGrateful for my family – they are always there to support me, even when I am stubborn and choose not to listen
oGrateful for my health- never had surgery or been severely ill
oGrateful for my career, there is no better feeling than helping people change their lives for the better…
oGrateful to have a place to live- there are so many people who are homeless
oGrateful for my best friend Caly and my sister in Christ Elissia, they are amazing young ladies
oGrateful to be book smart and street smart – both always come in handy
oGrateful for my vehicle- public transportation sucks
oGrateful for strawberry cheesecake and cookies and cream ice cream…yummy my favorite desserts
oGrateful for this sunny weather-thank goodness I am away from the snow

Okay Folks, it's your turn...what are you grateful for?

~God Bless, Keep the FAITH, love Ms. Kinsey~

1st Amendment Stand Up - Gary Owen

2011-01-24T19:42:00.000-05:00

wow!! LOL Gary Owens is hilarious...

Todd Lynn on "Relationships"

2011-01-23T19:11:00.000-05:00

LOL "monkey-bar" lmbo I think this is funny, what are your thoughts about this video? is the monkey bar analogy true?

American Idol- Funny Auditions Season 9 2010

2011-01-23T18:31:00.001-05:00

I miss simon as a judge, season 10 has the same wannabe singers and weirdos as the previous seasons, but its not the same without simon.

LOVE

2011-01-22T14:56:00.001-05:00

LOVE. LOVE . LOVE. It feels so good when it’s with the right person at the right time. Love is something that everyone longs for; it’s a part of our basic needs. Timing is everything when it comes to experiencing true love. To experience the true essence of love you have to be emotionally, spiritually and mentally fit. Ask yourself am I ready for love? Have I gotten rid of the baggage and self-defeating thoughts that are weighing me down emotionally, spiritually and mentally? Have I found love within myself or am I expecting to find it with someone else?

Some people are afraid to be alone so they rush into relationships hoping to fill the void of loneliness and expecting they will find love. Unfortunately, they are mistakenly wrong; instead of obtaining love they end up heartbroken and feeling worse than they did before getting into the relationship. Why is this? It’s because people fail to realize that they must first fall in love with themselves before loving another human being. If you do not know how to love yourself, how are you going to love someone else? If you are afraid to be alone with yourself it’s probably because you have not learned to love yourself.

Loving yourself is more than getting your hair, nails, or buying material things that bring you temporary happiness. Self-Love is a permanent transformation from within. It involves getting rid of those negative messages that you received as a child and cleaning out your spirit. It also involves eliminating people out of your life who do not promote self-love instead they play on your insecurities and weakness and use it to their advantage.

The advantage of loving yourself is not allowing anyone to determine your worth or define who you are, but knowing that you are worthy enough to walk away from all things that are not adding value to your life. You see when you love yourself you learn to put yourself first, you learn to feel good about who you are no matter what people say, you learn to do the things that make you happy, you know how to make yourself happy with or without the presence of other people. Most importantly you know that the only one you should aim to please is God because he is the definition of LOVE. If you want to have a better understanding of how to love your-self and others read (1 Corinthians 13).

“LOVE IS THE GREATEST GIFT DON’T CONFUSE IT WITH LUST”
“LOVE WITHOUT FAITH & TRUST ISNT LOVE AT ALL”
“IN ORDER TO EXPERIENCE TRUE LOVE YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO LOVE FEARLESSLY”

~God Bless, Keep the Faith, Love Ms. Kinsey~

SAVE OUR BLACK MEN & COMMUNITY

2011-01-20T23:18:00.006-05:00

Why are so many black men dying? Seem like every time I watch the news there is a sad story about another young black man who was murdered. Even worse 85 percent of the time the perpetrator of the crime is also black. We can’t blame the "white man", we are killing each other. What will it take for black people to come together and stop the violence? It saddens me to think that if the violence does not end soon our black men will become extinct. Some people may think that’s a bit far- fetched; but I believe it is truly possible. According to statistics, blacks represent 13 percent of the U.S. population. This percentage is a small number considering that there are approximately 312 million people in the U.S. Not to mention, the availability of positive black men in the community is scarce. There are more black men incarcerated than any other race. There are also more black men who are unemployed and come from single parent households. It’s evident that there are risk factors associated with violence in the black community; however, not much is being done to prevent black on black crimes and reduce the overall prevalence of violence in the community as a whole.

I believe 'we' as black people need to be proactive in our community and speak up about putting an end to violence in our community. Don’t wait until the news broadcasters arrive on the scene of the crime to speak up, SPEAK UP NOW! We need to write letters to the mayor, the governor and even our president demanding that something be done. We are the ones who elect the politicians into office so we need to hold them accountable to helping us make our communities a safe place to live.

Everyone deserves to live in a peaceful and safe environment regardless of race, economic status or geographical location. There is nothing worse than hearing helicopters flying over your house and gun shots outside of your window while you are trying to enjoy dinner with your family. I am tired of seeing the "Rest in Peace T-shirts", tired of watching the sad homicide stories on the news, tired of our black men dying and our black women crying and I am tired of the "no snitching rule." It's time to do something different, let’s come together and make a difference in our community.

~God Bless, Keep the FAITH, luv Ms. Kinsey~

Fun Times

2011-01-09T19:55:00.009-05:00

Akon & young sheek at the Improv Comedy show in Fortlauderdale, Fl. Eddie Griffin was the featured comic and he was hella funny. If you've never seen Eddie live I highly recommend you check him out. #livingmylife2thefullest

WHAT "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND" REALLY MEANS

2010-10-02T16:49:00.003-04:00

I decided to write this blog to give men a better understanding of why some women say they have a boyfriend when they really do not. I hope that this blog will help you gain insight into the mind of a woman who is not interested in you. This is not a “put a man down/man hater blog” it is a blog to encourage you to move on and not become one of those desperate beasty men who do not understand what I HAVE A BOYFRIEND MEAN.LOL…

Okay fellas when a girl tells you she has a boyfriend, it can mean two things; One she REALLY has a boyfriend and in that case is not interested in dating you or TWO she DOES NOT have a boyfriend and still not interested in dating you. So if the latter statement is true, you might be wondering, why would a female tell you she has a boyfriend if she really does not? It’s simple. Most females understand that it takes a lot of courage for a man to approach a woman and ask for a date or for the 7digits (LOL) so if we are not attracted to you, but do not want to be the MEAN girl that hurts your feelings or crush your ego, we say we have a boyfriend. It’s really simple, so do not make it complex. You see fellas we are looking out for your feelings. Would you rather hear a woman say, “I don’t like you or I have a boyfriend”? Most of you guys are probably thinking, “She should be honest and just say she does not like me”. The problem with being honest is some men cannot handle the truth, nowadays if you tell a man you do not like him, he is ready to call you a BIT@CH and all types of foul words. Women are tired of getting cursed out for telling the truth so we take the easy way out and say “I have a boyfriend”

Fellas, Let me let you in on a little secret that most women won’t tell you or admit to. Women know from the moment they meet a guy whether they want to be friends or more than friends. I’ve heard some women say that they know when they first meet a guy whether or not they will have sex with him. So fellas a woman’s mind is made up before you get a chance to say anything. Most of the time its best if you don’t say anything because you might say something that will put you on the “forever friend list”…LOL , that’s right women have a “ forever friends list” it’s every man nightmare to be on that list, especially if the woman is attractive.

So what’s the solution? If you don’t want to be on the “forever friends list” or you do not want another single woman to tell you “I have a boyfriend.” I suggest that you do the following: if you are not that attractive, but you have a good personality, I suggest you use your sense of humor to lure her in. Now I am not saying walk up to her with a corny joke or acting like a clown… NO! What I am saying is you should play it cool and when the opportunity is right walk up to her and make her laugh. Do not try to be mister funny guy if she is with all of her friends, wait until she is alone and looking like she needs someone to talk too. Okay, now if you are attractive, LOSE the cocky attitude, attractive guys get turned down too. An attractive guy has to pretend like he’s not attractive if he wants to get a woman attention especially if she is attractive. One thing I cannot stand is a cocky arrogant man who thinks that he can get any woman he wants. Believe it or not those men are the ones who hear “I have a boyfriend” a lot because their ego needs to be deflated. So PLAY IT COOL PLAYA! THERE IS A WOMAN OUT THERE FOR YOU!

~God bless, Keep the FAITH, love Miss Kinsey~

WRITERS BLOCK WILL NOT STOP ME!

2010-09-17T18:12:00.005-04:00

I have been writing a book for over a year now and it is a difficult task. I often get writers block and I am starting to second guess myself on this project. I know that with time I will be able to fulfill this goal of mine, but I pray that God gives me the wisdom and knowledge to complete what I have started. I was researching online tips on how to be a great writer and one of the tips was to write and read everyday for at least an hour. Today, I am dedicating my hour to talk about my desire to finish this book. Listed below is what I hope to accomplish by writing this book.

1. I hope to leave a legacy behind for my family to cherish; in my opinion, a book is a legacy because words are everlasting and can change the way people think about the world around them.

2. I hope to encourage men and women to find themselves, discover who they are, and fall in love with themselves and God before committing to another person or getting into a relationship.

3. Lastly, this book serves as motivation for me. I know that I can achieve anything that I put my mind to... as long as God is in the midst, I cannot fail.

I believe in myself, I have accomplished many goals and I will accomplish this too!!

God bless me! I will keep the FAITH!!!

~Ms.Kinsey~

How long should you wait before you get married? How do you know when you are ready for marriage?

2010-05-15T15:43:00.005-04:00

It’s been awhile since I wrote a blog about love and relationships so since this is long overdue, I hope you enjoy reading it or at least be entertained. Before I begin let me add a Disclaimer: I Yaschia Kinsey is NOT a Love expert, I write strictly for entertainment purposes. Everything that is written is based off of witnessing other people’s experiences or my own personal experiences. I do not sugar coat anything and sometimes my sarcasm can be offensive, so now that you’ve been warned we can begin.

How long should you wait before you get married? How do you know when you are ready for marriage?

About a month ago, I posted this question on my Facebook status and I received a couple of responses that were thought provoking, but nevertheless, I decided to write about it.

Is 6 months too soon? Is 5 years too long? ….I know people who have been together for 6 months and got married. I also know people that have been in a relationship for 10 years and still together, but are not married. So I cannot help, but to wonder why some people are quick to rush into marriage and why some are taking forever to tie the knot. Now I know every circumstance is different and it depends on the individuals ….yea yea yea all that is true, but there has to be a more profound explanation to the questions above.

Nowadays, seems like more people are getting married sooner than later. Seems like marriage is becoming a hobby; I have friends in their 20’s that are already married. I am happy for them, but sometimes I wonder what would make them do such a thing at a young age. Most of them have kids, they tell me, "They love their girl and they want to keep the family together… and feel it’s the right thing to do." I’m not knocking or doubting their love for each other, but I definitely do not think people should get married because they have kids together and society tells them it’s the right thing to do. Now that I think about it, there are very few people nowadays who get married before they have kids… so is kids the motivating factor for marriage? Or are women just saying “yes I will marry you” because the guy ask them too? What’s the big obsession with marriage?

It seems like women wait their whole lives for the right guy to pop the big question. I know some women all they think and talk about is marriage. They do not even know why they want to get married. They use LOVE as a justification, but to me you can love a person and never marry them, a piece of paper does not define love. Moreover, is love really enough to keep a marriage together? I would have to say, NO. I know plenty of people who love their partner and divorce them because of financial reasons. In fact, research shows that the number one reason people get divorced is because of money problems (so in the words of Tina Turner “What’s Love got to do with it” LOL). Another justification for marriage that is overly used is “I no longer want to live in sin.” Okay, I can understand that, but if you are marrying the person just because you do not want people to think that you are a heathen or because you want to be politically correct by doing so, then you are being deceptive and deception is also a sin. Is one sin greater than the other? I do not think so. Lastly, I often hear women say, “I am getting too old my biological clock is ticking, I need to hurry up and find me a husband.” Regardless of what your biological clock is saying, if you marry someone for that reason alone, a few years later you will be one old miserable divorced lady….LOL

Regardless of what you should never be in a rush to get married. Marriage is a HUGE commitment and you should not sign up for it if you are not certain why you want it. If you have been with your partner for more than 5 years and you are not married yet, there is probably good reason for that. Maybe the person is not sure yet. If you are ready and he is not maybe you should move on because there is no guarantee that person will ever be ready. If you been with your partner for 6 months and you are married; I hope you know why you got married and I hope those reasons are good enough to get you through the hard times because there will be hard times.

The one way you can figure out why you want to get married is to do some deep thinking and soul searching. Ask yourself and partner a lot of questions. Below are a few questions you should ask yourself and partner…

YOURSELF
Why am I getting married? What is it that I like the least about this person and can I live with that for the rest of my life? Can and do I trust this person? What is my partner view on family and how does he/she treat his family? How do I deal with conflict and how does he deal with conflict? When we argue what’s the first thought that comes to mind? Do I think about or still love someone else?
PARTNER
What are your expectations about marriage? Why do you want to marry me? How much debt are you in and what’s our financial plan? How many kids do you want to have or are you marrying me because of the kids? Is there anything /secrets you want to tell me before we get married?

These are just a few questions, if you are not satisfied with your partner answers maybe you should consider waiting. Remember marriage is easy to get into, but harder to get out of….. I’ve seen some messy divorces and I don’t want that to be you so think about it and ask about it before you decide to do it!

God Bless, Keep the FAITH, Luv Miss Kinsey

Is Your Glass Half Empty or Half Full?

2010-04-24T23:40:00.001-04:00

As I sit here drinking this cranberry juice wondering what I should write about, the first thought that comes to mind is : My life> At this point in my life I feel complete, but yet half full. I know that does not make sense to most people, but to me it makes perfect sense. I am the type of person that's never satisfied, I always want more of something, especially when it pertains to my career objectives. I feel complete because I accomplished some of my childhood goals, but incomplete because everyday I'm adding a new goal to the list. I hear people say," I just want to be successful” I often wonder how other’s defining success. Success to me is accomplishing all of my goals, and since I have so many I will always be chasing success. Success is not a destination nor can it be measured by monetary gain. Public figures like Russell Simmons, Oprah, Pdiddy, Bill Gates, and Donald Trump are wealthy, but the wealth they acquired isn’t what makes them successful at least not from my point of view. The mere fact that they don’t limit themselves and continue to strive for more is what makes them smarter then those who think they have "arrived" and are content with being complacent.

People who understand that success is not a destination is constantly setting new goals. Once they accomplish one goal their on to the next. If you get to that point in your life and you start to think " NOW WHAT?" Quickly sit down and think about your next move. “NOW WHAT?" means that you don't have enough goals or have run out of things to do? Believe it or not everyone at some point will reach that NOW WHAT? Moment, hopefully it’s when you've accomplished all of your goals and dreams. Some people don’t have a lot of goals, and that fine, do whatever makes you happy, just don't settle for less then you deserve. We only get one life; everyone deserves to have all there dreams come true.

Motivation Quotes:
"Your DreamS Will not come true Until you WAKE up and Make them happen"
“You are your own distraction; the only person that can get in your way is YOU"
“Drop that T off CAN'T and say YES I CAN...lol"

God Bless, Keep the Faith, Love Miss Kinsey

How do you know when you’ve outgrown your friends?

2010-02-25T23:07:00.005-05:00

*this note is not a personal attack on any of my friends, please don't take it personal. I am simply expressing my opinion on a topic that many people can relate too*

How do you know when you’ve outgrown your friends?

This is a question that I have asked myself several times over the last few years. As I sit and meditate on where I am in my life I can’t help, but to be honest with myself and acknowledge that my relationship with some of my friends have changed. It saddens me to think that we have grown apart. Some days I sit back and reminisce about the friendships I had growing up. When I was younger I hung out with a group of girls practically everyday. These girls were like my sisters, and in my heart they still are. Back then we did everything together. We went to the same schools; we shopped together, partied, slept over at each others houses; shared secrets, got into fights, talked about our life goals, etc. There was no doubt in my mind that these girls would forever be my friends.

It seems like everything changed once we graduated from high school. Some of us went to different colleges/universities, and some stayed in the town. My first couple of years in college I kept in touch with most of them. I would go home on the weekends and hangout with them. After awhile seems like phone calls and hanging out died out. I started to feel like there was no reason for me to travel home anymore. I got tired of going to same parties, listening to same hood stories, and seeing the same people in the town. Besides, every time I came home I would constantly hear negative criticism from some friends and family members. People would say to me “girl you act different since you went to college… you act like a white girl.” Or they would say, “you think you better because you in college.” Honestly, I was tired of hearing those sarcastic remarks. Of course these remarks came from people who never went to college. It’s funny to me how ignorant people can be sometimes. Do they really think, I worked this hard to stay the same (jay-z voice)? I am suppose to sound different, look different and behave different.

A few months ago I realized I have outgrown some of my friends. Most of my friends aren’t interested in the same things that I am interested in. If I called some of them right now and asked them to attend a professional seminar with me, most of them would not be interested. Likewise, if they called me and asked me to go to a bar, I would not be interested. Our conversations differ also, some of my friends still like to gossip and talk about the latest drama in the neighborhood. I find myself getting really annoyed with these conversations and I often try to change the subject. I know that this is a sign that I have outgrown the friendship. For awhile I was in denial and I did not want to lose any of my friends, but now I realize that some people do not want to change and are content with where they are. So I choose to love them from a distance.

I read this quote the other day that said, “You don’t have to change friends, if you realize that friends change.” At first I agreed with that quote until I read another quote that said “you are the average of your five closest friends.” If the last quote is true, I want my five closest friends to be educated, respectful, business oriented go-getters who do not have time for negativity and drama.

~God Bless, Keep the FAITH ,love Miss Kinsey~

MEET ME AT THE CROSS ROAD

2010-01-28T02:16:00.002-05:00

I am stuck sitting here in this unfamiliar place
Wondering how did I get stuck here in this unfamiliar place?
A place full of lust, confusion, excitement and a feeling that is hard to let go
How did I get here in this unfamiliar place?
Stuck not knowing what to do
Can you meet me at the cross road so we can figure out which way to go?
I want to go left, but my heart tells me to go right, but I know that’s not right
So I am stuck sitting here in this unfamiliar place
Lonely, confused, hurt & feeling misused
I AM STUCK!
Can you meet me at the cross road so I can figure out which way to go?

Sometimes in life we often feel stuck and confused when it comes to personal matters such as RELATIONSHIPS. Most of us just want someone to meet us half way and compromise. Unfortunately, it does not always work out like that. Life is unpredictable, its a temporary assignment and nothing last forever so all you can do is TRUST the PROCESS and LIVE….everything that’s meant to happen will happen. DON’T STAY STUCK, pick your head up and LIVE. “LIFE IS TO BE LIVED”

This poem is dedicated to the people who feel stuck and unsure of their next move in their relationship, career, etc… I hope my words inspire you to LIVE and enjoy your LIFE!!

God bless, Keep the FAITH, love Miss Kinsey!

KEEP THE FAITH

2009-12-19T15:54:00.000-05:00

There is no such thing as a faithless person, it just depends on what you choose to have faith in. every day people exercise some level of faith. When you go out to eat at a restaurant you trust and have faith in the chef. You cannot see what he is doing behind the kitchen doors, but you have faith that he is preparing a great meal. When you are sick and you go to the doctor you trust that the doctor will prescribe you the right medicine. When you are in trouble with the law, you choose to hire an attorney that has a good track record of winning cases. You trust and have faith that attorney will prove your innocence. Many of us put more faith in humans then we do GOD…

God is the alpha and omega (the beginning and end). He is the creator of all things. He is the author and finisher of our faith…. Why not trust him? Once you begin to trust God and put your faith in him nothing else matters. If the doctor says you are sick and there is no cure for your illness…that does not bother you because you know God is a healer… and if you don’t know you should read your bible the scripture tells us so (read James 5:13-15) If you lost your job and don’t know where your next meal is going to come from…Trust God he is a provider and will supply all of your needs (Philippians 4:19)…. If you are feeling depressed and lonely…God says he will always be with you even when you cannot feel his presence. TRUST GOD….

Do not be fooled by people who say you do not have enough faith or people who try to act like they so holy like they have some greater level of faith then you. In the bible it says all we need is a mustard seed of faith to move mountains (Mathew 17:20)…. Use the little bit of faith you have and trust God….Ask God to come into your life and show you how to live… Do not let other people deter you from seeking a relationship with God…. STOP blaming the church, stop saying “I don’t go to church because the people are hypocrites” there are hypocrites where ever you go, besides you don’t go to church for the people…you go to hear God’s word and worship him. If you are focusing on the people then you are going for the wrong reasons. Also stop saying “I believe in God, but I don’t believe in the bible because it was written by man” that breaks my heart when I hear people say that. How can you believe in God, but not his words…what are you basing your beliefs on? Besides the books that you read for school and for leisure are written by man, but that don’t stop you from reading them or believing what you read…. I’m not judging anyone, I’m just saying… if you believe in God than believe in his words, trust and have faith in his word and apply what you learn to your life.

“There is no such thing as a perfect person, but God can fix your imperfections, and if you have faith in him he will make you a better person.”

~God Bless, Keep the FAITH, love Ms. Kinsey~

DO GOOD GUYS FINISH LAST?

2009-12-05T23:11:00.000-05:00

Do good guys finish last? The answer to this question is contingent on how one defines a good guy. My definition of good guy is a man who is extremely nice for no apparent reason except for the fact that he was raised to respect women. A good guy will exercise his manners at all times. He is considerate, honest, loyal, and respectful. He will open up the doors for you, cook/clean for you, and talk to you in respectable manner without the use of profanity or other ignorant words. A good guy is charming and presentable. You can take him out in public and he will not embarrass you (LOL).

Most women want a good guy, but they want one that has a BACKBONE. In other words, he is not a pushover. There is a difference between a good guy and pushover. A pushover is a man that allows his woman to completely control the relationship. She tells him what he can and cannot do. His life revolves around her. She has to stand up for him when he is disrespected by others because he is too nice to stand up for himself. Once a man crosses the line of being a good guy to a push over his woman will leave him for a man that she feels will protect her.

Women tend to fall for the so called “bad guys” for several reasons. One reason happens to be because they believe the bad guys will protect them if anything should ever happen. For example; if a woman is in situation and she is scared or being violated by someone, she wants her man to stand up for her and take care of the situation if necessary. If you are a pushover your woman will feel as if she wears the pants and she has to protect you. Another reason why women fall for bad guys is because good guys are so predictable. Believe it or not women like a thrill or some type of excitement. If a woman knows what your next move is at all times she will begin to think that you are a boring person. Nobody wants to be with a boring person. The bad guys are always unpredictable you never know what they will do….it’s sad, but it’s the truth. Now don’t mistake what I am trying to say here…. I am not saying a woman wants an abusive man that will smack her around, cheat on her or some type thug that’s in/out jail. A real woman does not want that. She wants a man that is respectful, romantic, and knows how to keep the relationship exciting and new. Moreover, he can and will protect and provide for her.

The answer to the question above is NO! Good Guys do not finish last, PUSHOVERS finish last. If you are a good guy, I encourage you to continue to be a good guy and respect women. However, do not allow women to control your every move or take advantage of your kindness…Be a good guy and have a BACKBONE and you will find an incredible woman who will appreciate and love you.

~God bless, Keep the faith, love Ms. Kinsey~

DONT LET YOUR INDEPENDENCE STOP YOU FROM GETTING A MAN

2009-11-16T21:00:00.000-05:00

This is the hardest blog I have written thus far because I am practically writing about myself. I am keeping it a 100 percent real and I hope you can appreciate my point of view on independent women. Now before you read my point of view, I want to clarify two things: I do believe women should have their own and I am in support of independent women, however women do not let your independence hinder you from getting a real man. Sometimes women we have to learn to be submissive.

The term INDEPENDENT is used so loosely. Nowadays, a lot of women are shouting “I am independent and I don’t need a man.” I once shouted that too, until I sat down and had a conversation with a real man who had a valuable point of view on this issue. He said to me, “Why is it that the majority of women who say that they are independent are single? and why are independent women still looking for a man?” Initially, I laughed at these questions, but truthfully I could not disagree with him because he was right. If I say I am independent and I don’t need a man, it does not make sense to later state that I have not found the right man. The two statements are a contradiction. If you don’t need a man than what’s the point in looking for the right one??? LOL…

You see I understand women and if there is anything I’ve learned about being a woman is this: Women say one thing and mean another. I do not know why we do it, but that’s what we do. I guess we assume that men know what we want. So let me explain what a woman is really trying to say when she says, “I am independent and I do not need a man.” She is saying, “I am proud of myself because I have a job, a car, my own place and I can provide for myself financially, so if a man wants to be with me, he has to be able to give me more than what I already have.” (Now that’s deep! LOL) You see it’s not that we do not need a man, oh yes, we need them, but we or should I say I want one that will STAND UP AND BE A MAN….in other words take care of the household. More women nowadays are the sole providers for their household. Now I am not saying it’s all about money, there is other ways you can support your woman. You can please her emotionally, spiritually and physically. The problem is most men are emotionally disconnected, lost spiritually and physically they just are not “doing it right” for a lack of a better word (you can interpret that last statement however you want too).

Okay so what’s the solution? Women stop saying you do not need a man, speak positivity into your situation and say, “I want a man who has more than what I have.” Also, don’t go around shouting you’re independent because you attract dependent men. All the real men run away from you because they are afraid they will not be able to offer you anything. Lastly, when you get a real man remember it’s not about what you can do for him or what he can do for you, ITS ABOUT WHAT YA’LL CAN DO FOR EACH OTHER!

~Keep the FAITH, luv Ms. Kinsey~

BACK TO BASIC (CHECK YOUR SWAGGER)

2009-11-14T04:29:00.000-05:00

Hello Fellas! This blog is for you (particularly for single men). I will keep this simple and straight to the point because I know men have short attention spans (lol hahaha! I really love you guys). The first thing that came to mind when I started writing this blog is how can I help the guys? I am always encouraging and uplifting women. I said to myself, “what is one thing that men struggle with the most when dealing with women?” the first thought that popped into my head was “approaching women.” Now most of you men are probably thinking, “nah sheek, I don’t have that problem; I’m a G, I got game, I know how to get a lady” Bull Crap! At some point all of you men were afraid to approach a woman because fear of rejection. Please let me help you and give you a better understanding from a woman’s perspective so that you can reduce your chances of being rejected. Let’s be clear, I am not speaking for all women, but I am sure that most women will agree with what I am about to say. Below are 5 easy steps that all men should follow before approaching a woman that you’re interested in. Be sure to read brief explanation after each step.

1. First thing you need to do is check yourself before approaching her. Take a quick look at yourself and ask yourself: DO I like the way I look today? How do I smell? (Is my breath fresh, hygiene right, etc)

Explanation: If you don’t like the way you look, chances are she don’t either. Men should always wear cologne because smelling good draws a woman closer to you…even if you’re not looking your best, if you smell good she will have something positive to say( she will say, “at least he smell good”…lol)

2. Think about what you are going to say before approaching her and eliminate these words from your vocabulary: what’s good ma? Can I holla at you for a minute? You fine can I get your number? All that immature language is annoying…

Explanation: The first thing you say out of your mouth will determine if she rejects you.
I would suggest you say something like this: Excuse me, what’s your name? I see you around here a lot and I was curious about you…okay this is situational, but I’m sure she would want to know what your curiosity is about which will lead to follow up question…at least you got her attention now

3. Be confident: A confident man can have any girl that he wants. Women think confident men are so sexy (at least that’s what I think LOL). A confident man is comfortable in his own skin. He has a certain type of walk, talk, a sexy vibe just swag….You either have it or you don’t. The best way to exude confidence is to be you!

4. Make eye contact: if you make eye contact with a woman for longer than 15 seconds and she is gazing back into your eyes, please believe that she likes you, interested or feeling a certain type away about you

5. Keep it simple: When you approach a woman for first time keep the conversation short. If she shows interest in you and you want to talk to her again, I would suggest you ask: how can I keep in touch with you? Instead of asking can I have your phone number; Not all women want to give out their number

I know this list is simple and basic, but most men have difficult time following these basic steps when approaching women. I hope this list encourages men to come correct when approaching the ladies. If you have any questions or would like me to elaborate please leave a comment below

~God Bless, Keep the FAITH, luv Ms. Kinsey~

SEASONAL MEN

2009-11-11T08:22:00.000-05:00

There seems to be a trend going on in relationships. There are a lot of seasonal relationships. One minute you see a couple together in the winter by spring their relationship has ended. I believe I have a solution to fixing this problem, so pay close attention to what I am about to tell you. When you meet a guy or a woman you like do not be in a hurry to commit to a title. What’s the rush? Most women are quick to ask a man for the title of being his girlfriend after only dating the guy for a short time. Why is that? I believe it’s because women fear that without a title they will not be able to keep the man from dating other women or they feel a sense of security by having a title. They think if I am his “girlfriend” then I’m entitled to certain rights and privileges.

I am here to tell you a title does not give you anything, but a false sense of hope. You hope that a man will not cheat; you hope that he will fall in love with you; you hope that he will marry you. Listen up women, just because a man calls you his girlfriend does not guarantee that he will do all those things that you hope for. If a title meant anything why are most men still cheating? Why is the divorce rate so high? Why does a man tell you he loves you and creeps around with the next chick when you’re not available? I am not here to tell you how men think; I am not a man. You can buy Steve Harvey book “Act like a lady, think like a Man” if you want to know how men think. I am writing this to tell you to get rid of your emotional thinking and USE YOUR BRAIN. Use the power that all women have. It is time to pull out your womanly tools that God blessed you with before jumping into your next relationship. All women have these tools, but not all women are smart enough to use them before getting into a relationship. These are the tools that women have: 1. women instinct, 2. Ability to investigate/interrogate 3. Ability to be charming and pleasing without giving up the cookie 4. Ability to get what you want when you want it 5. Ability to multitask. We have an advantage over men because men do not possess the same power.

Attention Women!!! Use these tools before deciding to be in a relationship. The key word in the latter statement is BEFORE. I would suggest that you observe and be friends with someone for a whole year before getting into a relationship. I know what most of you are thinking; a year is too long. Well that’s why you keep getting seasonal men; you do not want to wait for the right man. While you are waiting use your tools. Tool # 1 investigate/interrogate…Ask questions, not just any question, the uncomfortable ones (what are your goals? Do you have a job? Do you have a relationship with God? Do you have any kids? Do you like kids…lol etc). Tool # 2 is being charming without giving up the cookie…. The best way to be charming without having sex is to give a man a compliment. Men have huge ego’s they love to be praised, you don’t have to sleep with him to make him feel good. Men will love to be around you if you treat him like he is the best thing since slice bread LOL. Tell him things like “baby you look’n real handsome, I love that hair cut, you are such a great man to wait for me until I am ready”….LOL (this works…it will get you through your investigation period). Tool #3 is ability to get what you want when you want it…The key to getting what you want is to know what you want. Let a man know what your expectations are and what you want out of a relationship. Let him know that you are focus on your future. Men love a woman who is focus and have standards. Tool #4 is ability to multi-task…. While you are trying to figure out if this man is the one for you, make sure most of your time is consumed with taking care of you and your business…do not spend to much time worrying about if the man is right for you, spend time getting your self right. Lastly, Trust your instinct. A woman’s instinct is always right.

The moral of the story is getting to know a man through all four seasons before jumping into a relationship. It takes time to know someone and figure out there intentions. You want to observe a man through all four seasons (winter, spring, summer and fall). You want to see how he treats you in the winter when it’s cold outside and fewer women are dressing scandalous. Will he stick with you in the winter or just use you as a cuddling buddy and bounce on you in the spring? Or will he spring forward with you and be around all summer? Or will he start to act up in the summer and Fall back until its winter again…LOL stop putting up with this mess and take control of the situation. Be his friend and use your tools until you get to know him better.

~God Bless, Keep the FAITH, love Ms. Kinsey~

Letter to My Father

2009-11-09T10:56:00.000-05:00

Heavenly Father,
I woke up this morning with you on my mind. I thank you Lord for all that you have done. I thank you father for never leaving me. In the midst of my struggle, doubt, fear and feelings of not being worthy; you and only you were there to see me through. Lord I ask that you continue to shape and mold me into the person you want me to be. I say YES to your will, I say Yes to your word.... Lord you said " If I abide in your word I am a disciple and I shall know the truth and the truth shall set me free"... Lord I am thirsty for your word and I want more of you. I cant do this by myself, I need you to survive. Teach me Lord, Lead the way and I will Follow. I want to be a faithful servant, Please continue to strengthen me in the areas that I am weak.

Sincerely,
Your Child

CHECK YOUR VISION

2009-11-07T04:21:00.000-05:00

This blog is not about going to an eye doctor and getting your eyes checked; It’s about being FOCUS! Sometimes we get so caught up in the world around us our vision become blurry. When I say vision I mean where you see yourself in the future. Most of us at some point in our lives were asked “what we want to be when we grow up or what are our plans for the future?” As children we dreamed big. Many of us dreamed of becoming doctors, lawyers, teachers, psychiatrists, firemen, professional athletes, etc. We were not quite sure how we were going to make that happen, but we knew that’s what we wanted to become. From childhood to becoming a young adult some of us stayed on course with our vision and began the preparation stage of fulfilling our dreams. However, some us became distracted and lost sight of the vision. For those of you who lost sight or experiencing a temporary distraction; I am here to tell you CHECK YOUR VISION…WAKE UP! Look in the mirror, wash your face and clean your eyes with saline solution. Whatever it is that you dreamed of becoming, it is time to make it happen. Stop making excuses, stop dwelling on past hurts, stop waiting for the right opportunity, and stop blaming other people…STOP BEING LAZY!

You cannot change the past, but you can change the future. Once you regain sight of your vision you have to be willing to put in the work. If you want your dreams to come true you have to make sacrifices. Most people aren’t successful because they are not willing to put in hard work. When I was in college I sacrificed a lot. I pulled all nighters at the library (library was my best friend LOL), I worked three jobs at once and was full time student, I practically neglected my social life and friends. My priorities were focused on my education and nothing else. The benefit of doing all that is I graduated twice, two degrees in 6 years BA & MS. I was the first in my family to receive a Master’s degree. Now I’m not bragging, boasting or trying to tell you to do what I did, I am just saying stay FOCUS on your VISION. I leave you with this acronym. Focus = Following On Course Until Successful!!!

~God bless, keep the faith, luv Ms. Kinsey~

LOVE THY SELF

2009-11-04T09:42:00.000-05:00

Self love is essential. Sometimes we get caught up in loving someone else we forget to love our self. So what is self love?? it's more than pampering yourself. Some women think that getting their hair, nails, and new outfit is all it takes. Self love requires you to spend some alone time with yourself; discovering who you are. During this time you should meditate and think about your strengths, your morals, the things you like about yourself, and what you want out of life. Make a list of goals you want to accomplish and prepare an action plan. "The whole world steps aside for a woman who knows where she is going." So instead of following someone else and becoming a shadow...look within yourself and believe that you can lead the way.

God bless, ~keep the Faith, luv Ms. Kinsey~

DEAD BEAT MOM

2009-10-29T20:02:00.000-04:00

Women talk a lot about dead beat dads….but what’s the definition of DEAD BEAT MOM?? I think it’s a lot undercover dead beat moms… if you fit the following criteria you are a DEAD BEAT MOM….
1. Every Friday night you drop your kids off to babysitter so you can go clubbing…
2. If you dress in fancy designer clothes and your kid(s) running around dirty with a snotty nose…
3. If your kid(s) call you by your first name and call your mother MOM…that’s a problem…dead beat
4. If your child curse you out and you sit there and laugh….that’s disrespectful…chances are u dead beat mom
5. If you tell your kids your new boyfriend is their “uncle” SHAME on you…dead beat promiscuous mom LOL
6. If you deny your children the right to see their father because you don’t like his new girlfriend…. Dead beat jealous mom…stop it your children will grow up to hate you
7. If you never been to your child school after initial enrollment date ….dead beat make time for your children
8. If you speak negative words into your child life…example you say: “ yo daddy was no good and you going to grow up to be just like yo no good daddy”….SHAME on you..dead beat mom
9. If you have a refrigerator full of alcohol and you smoke weed all day, whether kids are home or not …chances are you a dead beat mom who needs REHAB
10. If you don’t know where your kids are or what their doing at this moment….you are a dead beat mom….stop reading this and go get or check on your kids before I call CPS…

If you are offended by this note GOOD you should be….tired of women and men neglecting innocent children….if you can’t take care of your kids WRAP IT UP OR DON’T HAVE SEX…point blank

In the Meantime

2009-10-27T18:45:00.000-04:00

life is a temporary assignment, nothing last forever. We are born into this world knowing that we will die one day. Our job is to figure out what to do in the meantime.....